Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave

[Growltigger]

Power Man, I thought I would leave the minger ginger Captain Jean Luc Le Grand Chat for a "Generations" type of event in a later series!

Dont worry, leotard wearing nancy boys will get their comeuppence and no mistake.

Hmmmm.. this thread seems to have slowed down, bit of a boring second episode I feel....

I wonder if we should land the TSSS Phong's Head and revert it back to a cantina?

[Erax]

Twelve more Posts and we can wrap this episode. No, make that eleven now.

Erax is still drinking in Ten Forward BTW.

[dogscoff]

Fair comment 'Tig. However, we could have noe Last stab at it. Anyone fancy re-hashing this favourite episode?

http://www.johnskeedvabbq.com/Transcripts/RA.html

No prizes for anyone who spots the deliberate mistake...

[Raging Deadstar]

We can't turn it back into a cantina, i personally think you guys wrapped it up too soon! In the first episode it was ok cos no-one had a clue on how to finish but this was simple! Beam the mingers back to their dimension, hmm we need to liven up this episode, let me see what i can do....

*Due to the inexplicable laws of the universe which the TSSS Phong's head is travelling through, the one dogscoff created which has a typical star trek attitude (if a universe can have an attitude) the TSSS Phong's head is suddenly propelled into a rip between the minger dimension and this one (this so over done!) and from the swirling colours of energy comes a ship, but it's not like any other ship, it's exactly like the Phong's Head, except for the fact it has a large ginger synthetic beard on the front and has a peace symbol on the top. Captain Jean Luc Le Grand Chat has to make a choice, surely it wouldn't be right to fire on a ship full of Pacifists, but it's already the second episode and we havn't seen any ship to ship combat and special effects! Will The captain let the Bar Trek series fail so spectacularly? Will he show them the way back home and come across as the peaceful, suave Picard and let us become a cantina again? Or will he show us the tigga we all know and partially like when he isn't shoving red hot pokers up our backsides? The series lies in Captain Jean Luc Le Grand Chats hands!*

Come on, 9 Posts left! just enough to destroy the minger TSSS Phong's head, keep the Bar Trek series alive!

[ May 28, 2003, 19:12: Message edited by: Senator Raging Deadstar ]

[Growltigger]

Captain Slog, article 248.7(b)(iii)(a) fourth codicil (yes, the ink is dry!!) of the Prime Directive dictates that I should always destroy any ship full of namby pamby gusset licking winnet sniffing ginger minger hirsute pansy girly-boys I come across....

Mr Power Man, charge phaser banks, raise shields, load photon torpoedoes, launch defence drones and arm all crew for a marine assault against the ginger minger....

Mr S'Katchoo turns to the captain and says "huge phase imbalance near that nebulae captain, something big and nasty is coming through". In a swirling cloud of incandescence, a large evill looking Klingon cruiser warps into space, and proceeds to head toward Fart Point.

"Captain" says Mr Power Man, "they are charging up their disrupters and obviously mean to destroy the people of Fart Point, and probably the brewery too"

"Captain to Ensign Patsy, signal the TSSS Ginger Minger, stress to them the gravity of the situation and that we need their help", "signal acknowledged Captain" says Patsy "they will assist and are charging up their pink lycra quantum torpoedoes".

Both vessels bear down on the evil Klingons buggers who dont appear to have noticed the two ships...

"Fire Phasers, launch photon torpedoes" yells the captain, a fiery bLasts hit the rear of the klingon ship and give a right good buffing. "Shields down on the klingon vessel" yells Mr S'Katchoo, "keep firing" says the captain, "defensive pattern delta, fire pattern omega, trouser staining pattern alpha"..

The klingon vessel begins to turn as the USS Ginger Minger closes to point blank range and fires the Pink Torpedoes. They smash into the klingon ship and give the crew a good tickling, and for some reason turn the klingon vessel pink and cerise!

THe klingon vessel turns to face the Ginger Minger, "Oh no" says Mr Power Man, "we are too far away to assist them"...

What will happen next? we have 6 Posts left to wrap up this episode, creative destruction only please (and keep it real)

[Power Man]

Captain: I suggest we use the famous "Pic a Card" Maneuver.

With that Power Man launches 3 Vary large playing cards at the Klingon ship.
One card has a full length photo of a Fuzzy Bunny Dealer in a tiny Dealer's uniform.
The other two have photos of some old terrorists.

"Signal the Klingons tell them if they pick the right card they will get the Prize."

The cards flip over and begin to weave a complex pattern. The Klingon ship turns to follow the cards. Their disrupters fire at the cards again and again but keep missing.

Power Man maneuvers the Phong's Head "Lean Right, Lean Left, Lean Right" .

"Captain, they have weakened their aft shields. We should hit them now where it will Really Hurt!"

"Fire Phasers, Let Loose the Cats of War , launch photon torpedoes" yells the Captain.
(Insert several Phaser firing special effects and those neat "thoom thomm" photon torpedo firing shots.)

The Klingon vessel is hit and badly damaged by the Ferocious Feline's attack.
"Shields down on the Klingon vessel. Their weapons and life support systems are off line." yells Mr S'Katchoo.

"Signal the Klingon vessel. Tell them we demand their immediate surrender!"

[Raging Deadstar]

*Suddenly a little screen appears on the TSSS Phong's head's Viewscreen and minimises to the bottom corner, there in this screen is a very confused Senator Deadstar*

Originally posted by Katchoo:
Meanwhile, aboard said Shuttle, Science Officer S'Katchoo claps his hands gleefully as the Minger Ginger Captain dances about, performing some of the best Cabaret Mr. S'Katchoo has ever seen!

Suddenly, the lights darken and a disco ball drops from the ceiling. Just as the rear-compartment door slides open, 'Staying Alive' by the Bee Gees starts playing. Standing up, Mr S'Katchoo joins the Minger Ginger Captain on the dance floor, just as the John Travolta clones from the Disco Universe come out and start dancing.

The view shifts to the exterior of the Shuttle, where we get to see it begin to rock lightly from side to side.

The bumber sticker "If this Shuttle's a rockin', don't come a knockin'" can be clearly seen on the rear bumper...

EXCUSE MEZ but S'Katchoo is currently gone in the Pink Triangle Nebula, that means that your Science Officer is a MINGER!

*Screen switches to S'katchoo who suspiciously has a large "Buzz Lightyearesque" chin, it seems The Minger S'Katchoo has added a chin extension to hide the ginger goatee he has. My guess is he stayed behind because in the Minger Universe S'Katchoo likes Aggressive Tigers!*

*Scene also switches to the brig where kamog is sitting in a corner salviating with large eyes. The camera switches to what Kamog is seeing and there is a Bunch of Jawas but their midsections replaced by cooked ham, chicken and a burger*

So so my fellow posters you have to finish the episode credibly with the following stories either continuued to the next episode or finished*

What will become of the Minger Phong's head, after helping the TSSS Phong's Head defend against the kling-ons will Jean Luc Le Grand Chat let them return to their dimension in peace, or will they be blown into tiny minger fragments?

What will happen to minger S'Katchoo?

What will Jean Luc do about the missing Minger Jean Luc and the Real Science officer S'katchoo? Will there be pun-ishment for abandoning ship for intimate liasons with the captain from another universe?

And will Kamog resort to Jawa Licking?

Theres your mission guys, as GT always says
"Make it so"

[ May 29, 2003, 18:57: Message edited by: Senator Raging Deadstar ]