Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave

Raging Deadstar · #1 June 9th, 2003, 01:08 AM

*Senator Raging Deadstar thinks to himself....*

DR GEO!!!! He has a body to control by remote control????

*The scene switches to the the sick bay where Dr Geo is laughing incontrollably as he makes S'Katchoos body flirt with an overweight hillbilly female (around 60 years old) with pigtails, freckles, wrinkles and those weird checkered shirts tied below the breast (although it's pretty far down on this mature women, lord help s'katchoo if he encounters those sagging beings!) Suddenly the women grabs S'katchoo and drags him to the sickbay bed and proceeds to tear his clothes off!*

I'm pretty sure S'Katchoo might want a new body after this

*Jean Luc le Grand Chat shakes his head as he hears the noises of sickbay come of his intercom....*

mac5732 · #2 June 9th, 2003, 04:28 AM

Down in the depths of the impregnable fortress of FartPoint, an wizen older gentleman continues to follow the escapades of the Crew of the Infamous TSS Phong and her crew.... and he chuckles to himself as he downs a brewski or two... if they only knew ..... .........

Growltigger · #3 June 9th, 2003, 02:35 PM

Alarmed beyond all natural reason at the horrid sounds of Betty Bob, the aging banana breasted hillbilly-ette, having her evil way with poor S'Katchoo's body, Captain Jean Luc le Grand Chat yells "hit the deck" at the top of his voice and watches as Taz, Kamog and possee hit the dirt and do their damnedest to bury themselves in the fetid sod.

"Bertha" fires up and the Captain, yelling something that sounds like "eat hot plasma you evil minded, foul, fetid, disgusting and obnoxious ladyboys" lets rip with all four barrels, together with a few thermal and incendiary grandes for good measure.

Commander Dogscoff joins in the fun with his smart gun and for a couple of minutes, the planet surface is covered with plasma and machine fire, and explosions...

The guns stop firing, and the Captain, removing large cigar from mouth, eyes the scene, 9 of the harpies are disintegrated, the other is clutching onto Kamog and sniffing his flowers (well, I think it is his flowers).

Kamog, stop flirting with that alien ladyboy and find ot where S'Katchoo's brain is..

We need to get him back in action quickly before the ministrations of Betty Bob mean that the next Bartrek episode is called "The Quest for S'Katchoo's happy sacks"

Power Man · #4 June 10th, 2003, 01:06 AM

Captain: Ships sensors show that the attacking females? came from a point 100 meters away on a baring of 276.93 from your location.
I have scanned the area.
It seems to be heavily shielded bunker like building.
I have locked the ships phasers on the site. On your command I will attempt to take out the shield.

I have also started a Ship Surface Scan (SSS) I think we may have �Picked up something� at the Fart Point station.

Taz-in-Space · #5 June 10th, 2003, 05:58 AM

After the action Taz picks himself up and surveys the scene...

All this gratuitous violence brings a tear to Taz's eye - so much like dear old Tazmania.

Speaking of eying, Taz is relieved to see that the Alien that was giving him the eye is no more.
However; Kamog is not so lucky! Perhaps Taz can 'distract' the alien with the 'Kamog fixation'.

After a moments thought, Taz brings out his .50 cal Desert Eagle 'noisemaker' and, walking up to the Kamog smitten alien, places the barrel to the alien's head. (For better hearing

) He then pulls the trigger.

Taz figures that the alien is suitably impressed since it seems to 'pass out' from the sound.

'OK Kamog, let's find the door or whatever before more critters are attracted to your flowers'.

Kamog · #6 June 10th, 2003, 07:32 AM

Thank you for saving me, Taz!

* Takes some tricorder readings... *

I'm getting a reading on the structure that Power Man has discovered. There is a door, and I'm reading the presence of some sort of passageway leading from inside the building to underground. Let's head over there, in that direction... when the shield goes down, we can enter the subterranean area to search for Mr. S'Katchoo's brain...

Growltigger · #7 June 10th, 2003, 09:37 AM

Mr Power Man, change the frequency of the phasers so that they take out that shield without blowing the hell out of the bunker. Make it so.

On the bridge of the TSSS Phong's Head, Mr Power Man pulls out his mechano spanner and twiddles a nob under the phaser control board. He pushes the fire button and lo, the phasers take out the shield.

Captain Jean Luc Le Grand Chat, on point, sidles up to the door of the bunker and opens it, a long corridor heads off into the bowels of the planet, the away team sneak down it until they reach a sign that says "Medical lab and brain storage area this way, turn left after the harem".

Hmmm thinks the great cat, we may not find S'Katchoo's brain but it looks like we will have a good time!