Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave

[dogscoff]

*dogscoff stops firing to reload, and only then realises that the battle finished half an hour ago.

He looses off another couple of round and a grenade just to be on the safe side, then hurries to catch up with the rest of the away team.

[Growltigger]

The plucky away team sneak down the corridors of the underground city, they follow the signs to the harem the door of which is, unfortunately, locked.

"Taz, open this door" says the captain. Taz kicks into superwhirlwind speed and demolishes the door.

They look inside into a vision of Arabesque delights. A beautiful tiled room has a gentle fountain as its centre point and yes, louging around seductively on some divans are about 20 of the galaxy's most beautiful maidens, fortunately wearing enough clothing for say only about 2 girls. There is also a demur female Taz as well!

Growltigga starts frothing at the mouth and all that can be heard is the sound of ther away team's fly buttons pinging off the ceiling.

Is this just a distraction to keep our intrepid away team from S'Katchoo's brain. Will someone be able to override Captain Jean Luc le Grand Chat's hormones? What will happen next?

[Raging Deadstar]

*Senator Raging Deadstar smiles as his diVersion works, he types in a command from the Deadstar homeworld and waits as it is sent across many satellites to the room that The away team is found. A panel opens and a flawless duplicate of a earth pop singer named kylie minogue saunters out in the skimpiest lingerie and kisses Jean luc le Grand Chat and begins to beg him seductively for a night of passion*

Is Growltigga strong enough to overcome his hormones now?

[Taz-in-Space]

Taz notices his captain's plight and moves to block the view - only to be intercepted:



Can it be? Can this diabolical trap be the end of the away mission? Will the captain be overcome by his greatest weakness? Will Taz ever be able to break free?

[Kamog]

"We have to stay focused on our mission! Everyone, remember we are here to recover Mr. S'Katchoo's brain! Our duty is to -..."

At that moment, across on the other side of the fountain, Kamog catches a glimpse of the most beautiful girl he has ever seen. Kamog is tranfixed. She turns her face towards the door, and their eyes meet. It was like magic. Suddenly, time stood still. Mission, duty, responsibility - all these things faded away. The only thing that mattered was to be with her - and deep inside he knew it that it was right, that it was meant to be. The room, the other crewmembers, and everything else became a formless blur, as Kamog walked towards her, as if in a trance.

A thousand visions flash in Kamog's mind: romantic candlelight dinners, hiking in the mountains with her, going shopping together, quiet moonlit walks in the park, the wedding day, their first baby...

Looking into her eyes, Kamog hands her the bouquet of flowers, as she smiles radiantly. "I have been waiting a long time for you", she says, "and I have found you, and I will never let you go."

[dogscoff]

*dogscoff, transfixed by the beauteous creatures before him, tries to resist. Somehow, he summons up the will power required to smash himself repeatedly in the groin with the butt of his flamethrower.

When he recovers consciousness he finds himself in a considerably less amourous mood and therefore temporarily immune to the enemy's allure. His plan succeeded, he proceeds to assist the rest of the away team in the same fashion.

[Raging Deadstar]

*Senator Deadstar watches on through the security camera, wincing with every blow dogscoff delivers to his groin. He watches intrigued as Jean luc Le Grand Chat moves in, holding the kylie clone in his arms and about to whisk her to the "private back room" when dogscoff appears and painfully hobbles over before ramming Jean Luc in the testes with the butt of his flamethrower repeatedly. Jean Luc can be heard shouting obscenities in a high pitched squeal*

Personally i think thats a breach of protocal, I know i wouldn't let my first officer ram me with the butt of a flamethrower in my happysacks, unless it was absoloutly, unavoidably nessercary! Anyway you have 38 Posts to find s'katchoos brain, surely enough time for the Captain to have his way with the clone. Boy are you in for it now Dogscoff

*Suddenly the amorous beauties begin pulling phasers and bLasters out from under the silk duvets that line the floor and aim at the away team!*

"Captain Jean Le Grand Chat, you will surrender yourself and your team and drop your weapons. You are now priosners of out exalted empire!"