Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave

[Power Man]

Power Man beams just the beauteous creatures into the brig. He leaves behind all of their wepons and most of their costums. The brig is filled with a special blend of docility gas and Spanish Fly. This should make them Really Ready for the Captain's "questioning session."

The good Doctor has Mr. S'Katchoo ready to go. On Mr. S'Katchoo's head is a pretty little hat with lots of little blinking lights. The doctor has an old TV/VCR remote that he can use to tell Mr. S'Katchoo's body to go forward, rewind-er Back and a special everything else button.

Power Man beams the Doctor and Mr. S'Katchoo's body down to the away team.

"Good luck finding and replacing Mr. S'Katchoo's brain Guys"

"Captain, I would like to report that the SSS (Ship Surface Scan) has found "Nothing Un-Expected". I am starting a SSSS (Sub Surface Ship Scan).

[Growltigger]

The Captain finds himself nodding off after Kamog and Erax's bLast of Trekkie technobabble..

Bugger, they will be learning klingon next and translating the barsnacks menu into it - what is tribble wings in klingon anyhow?

The brave captain looks up as Dr Geo (who has been awfully quiet recently) and the body of Mr S'Katchoo beam in..

Right young lady, answer me this. Why have you stolen Mr S'Katchoo's brain? how did you do it? and do you on a first date?

[Kamog]

The girl starts mumbling answers to the Captain's questions, her eyes still closed.

"We stole the brain to be our Controller... the Controller circulates our air ... keeps the city warm ... makes the lights work ... purifies our water ... this new Controller is strong and powerful - it will run our city for many years."

"We used the trilaser connector and sonic separator to remove the brain... we learned how to do the surgery by using 'Teacher'..." (She vaguely gestures towards the metal helmet-type device.)

"And of course I do, on a first date! And on every date! "

[Growltigger]

Right, that's just what I like to hear. Mr Kamog and Mr Erax, as our resident engineering geniuses, please build a new controller for these poor young ladies. Something that will Last a good few years and make them very friendly (if you get my drift) to us.

Dr Geo, even though you seem to have lost the ability to speak (maybe it was those hillbillies), please assist our intrepid engineering crew in this.

I have a sneaky feeling that we need to do this quikly, as I am sure a klingon battle cruiser will turn up and need a good thrashing.....

and Taz, please will you stop playing with Mr S'Katchoo's controls, breakdancing is so undignified in a science officer

[Raging Deadstar]

Originally posted by Kamog:
"We stole the brain to be our Controller... the Controller circulates our air ... keeps the city warm ... makes the lights work ... purifies our water ... this new Controller is strong and powerful - it will run our city for many years."

*Senator Deadstar sits back after listening in to the confession of the alien girl, but one thing confuses him. He plays the hologram back really slowly but it still syas what he thought it said!

"this new Controller is strong and powerful - it will run our city for many years"

Isn't this the bumbling, disco loving, dogscoff yearning science officer? Since when did he become strong and powerful???

*Senator Deadstar leans back in his chair and sips his drink*

Too bad that my fleet with a planet destroyer has almost arrived. I doubt even the Phong's Head could get through 3 Deadstar Battlecruisers and stop the Planet Destroyer irradicating Jean Luc Le Grand Chat and his away team!

[Growltigger]

Hmmmm, thinks the great Kat, no wonder that Mr S'Katchoo's brain is great and powerful. It is completely under utilised so is almost as good as new!

I wonder how Mr Kamog and Mr Erax are doing on the new brain...

Thinks to himself, I also wonder if Mr Powerman has finished the weapons and shield upgrades to the TSSS Phong's Head. With these new modifications, we will be a match for anything, even three Deadstar Battlecruisers and a Planet Destroyer! Hell, we could even whip a load more as well

[dogscoff]

*Bored by all the hi-techery, dogscoff reflects on just how deeply disappointed he is that he never got to fire his oversized space-marine style weapons at anything but figments of his own imagination.

With 26 Posts left and nothing to do but watch these engineering types fiddle about with their "controllers", he packs his pulse rifle & grenade launcher and decides to go mosquito hunting. Also, a nice stroll might help sort out the funny walk and castrato voice still lingering from that Last little incident.

Anyone care to join me? Who knows what kind of mosquitos they have on this planet.

[ June 17, 2003, 12:10: Message edited by: dogscoff ]