Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave

[Erax]

Right, that's just what I like to hear. Mr Kamog and Mr Erax, as our resident engineering geniuses, please build a new controller for these poor young ladies. Something that will Last a good few years and make them very friendly (if you get my drift) to us.

"Aye, aye, Cap'n."

Erax thinks to himself, now how am I going to do this. The controller bit is easy, all they need is air, water and heating, we can set that up in a minute. But make the young ladies friendly ? If I knew how to do that I wouldn't have become an engineer !

He looks over at Kamog. No help there, that's for sure. And Dr. Geo seems a little absent today. I guess I'll have to do things my own way.

"Erax to Power Man, I am setting up one of these medical consoles to interface with the Phong's computer, please open up a channel."

He accesses all of the female personalities the ship's computer has on file and tries to find a common denominator that would make them all 'friendly'. Suddenly he sees it !

"Erax to Power Man. Please send us the following equipment..."

[Raging Deadstar]

Originally posted by Chief Engineer Erax:
He accesses all of the female personalities the ship's computer has on file and tries to find a common denominator that would make them all 'friendly'. Suddenly he sees it !

Is this computer a bit like an advanced Version of the captains little black book?

[Power Man]

Boy that is some list Chief Engineer Erax. What are you putting together??

I can see were you might use a verteron pulse unit, or a master control logic box, and some of the other items.
But what are you going to do with a gross of chocolate covered tribble wings, a case of "El-cheepo" bubbling wine, and a case of raw ousters??

Any way I am sending down the stuff you wanted. Any thing else ???



[ June 17, 2003, 18:45: Message edited by: Power Man ]

[Erax]

But what are you going to do with a gross of chocolate covered tribble wings, a case of "El-cheepo" bubbling wine, and a case of raw ousters??

Well the Cap'n, Scoffo and Kamog suffered some rough treatment (not sure about Taz), they are going to need some 'help' before they return to the Phong to, ah, question our prisoners.

Anyway...

The requested items arrive. Erax quickly separates all the consumables and puts them away in the fridge (medical labs always have these !), then sets up an underground city controller unit with self-repair capability in place of S'Katchoo's brain.

Now for the hard part. He reprograms the city's video network to run a few ads at prime time, advertising the Phong as "the most amazing woman's shoe store this side of the energy barrier, for a limited time in orbit over YOUR planet !"

There... that should bring them all in.

[Kamog]

Kamog takes his tricorder and scans in the architecture and design of the beautiful tiled room with the fountain, and also captures holographic images of several girls.

When we get back to the ship, this will make a very nice holodeck program...

[Growltigger]

Captain to Mr Power Man, beam down some nasty evil lizardi things with lots of teeth from the Phong's Head menagerie. Dogscoff and I need something to kill.

Erax and Kamog, stop taking photos of nice young ladies and get that brain in place.

Has anyone found out why on earth the beeyoooootiful young ladies chose Mr S'Katchoo? (other than the fact that he is a disco queen with an underutilised brain?)....

and who is this funny senator deadstar who keeps making sotto vocce comments on the airwaves? someone please shoot him

[dogscoff]

At Last!

*dogscoff goes into another trigger happy frenzy. By the time 3 minutes have elapsed, he and 'tig are covered head to toe in lizard guts and out of ammunition. Only the giant queen-lizard remains, so dogscoff has a couple of big power-assisted loading suits (like the one from aliens) beamed down for the big finale punchup.