(OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers

[dogscoff]

Something else I just thought of, and it might not make a difference to you but there's a chance you'll find it helpful:

One way of building social/ self confidence is through physical contact. I'm not suggesting you go round hugging everyone but certain sports and activities can do wonders for your interaction with others.

Contact sports like judo/ karate/ rugby would be good but they aren't suitable for everyone so if you don't fancy that, consider a first aid course or dancing lessons. In these situations you have to be close to people in a neutral, instructive setting which really builds your confidence. There is no embarrassment involved because everyone understands that the contact is simply required.

Just another idea

[Ruatha]

Originally posted by dogscoff:
consider a first aid course or dancing lessons. In these situations you have to be close to people in a neutral, instructive setting which really builds your confidence. There is no embarrassment involved because everyone understands that the contact is simply required.

Great idea!

And even if you are embarrased, so what? It won't kill you. (You won't sink through the floor, your heart won't stop, everyone won't laugh at you. It just feels that way)
And dancing is really fun! Try rockn-roll dancing or jitterbug, that's hilarious.
Tip!And everyone is so exhausted that they are red in the face anyway so blushing don't show!

BTW: Edited my previous post, so if you've read it, re-read it!

[ May 21, 2003, 18:16: Message edited by: Ruatha ]

[Narrew]

Taera,

These are great replies. Many of us are older so can talk from years of experience. I am 40 and I STILL make mistakes (social ect...), but I know that it is the way things are and that things will be ok.

My High School years were the lowest in my life, I didn't have alot of friends either, I was more nerdy I guess. I remember asking a girl to a dance, and she started crying, I found out years later she didnt know how to say no, though it messed me up then, when I got older I wondered why she just couldn't say "No, thanks". So remember this, everyone your age is learning social skills, some will be better than others. In school we are told that not making mistakes is good (ie get good grades), but in "real life" mistakes are the only way we better ourselves (well as long as we learn from them ).

As Rutha said, if you like computers, perhaps you can go take some classes at a community college (we have fast start or some such that allows HS students to take college class's). Heck, don't limit it to computer courses. The dancing idea is a great one, you will get over being shy when you dance with older women taking courses. My Last idea would be perhaps look into something that you would never think of (or not see yourself ever doing). If you like reading books, join a book group that covers a complety different topic from what you enjoy...

Good luck friend

[Taera]

thanks a lot to you friends, there is some great advice there and just cheering up

it is very interesting, my mood goes way down every evening to the point of complete amotivation but goes back up to normal. then comes evening.

Ah well, its not evening yet.

I have posted here because i know some of you are of averagely my mindset and might have been through the same things i have right now. i see i was right, and im glad. i dont usually share such information but this time i've no regrets.

just a notice, my situation is much worsened by the fact that this is a still new country to me, radically different from anywhere i lived before.
while i got the grip on the language my spoken part still remains low.

I guess i am lucky i got the right mind, i completely stopped all my fit-in attempts back in grade 5. from a source that isnt relevant i read "if you want others to like you you need to like yourself first. accept yourself as you are because its the only one you can be. only then you can change yourself". been amongst my guidelines since then.

thanks again. i've been doing some things right, some not. there is too much good advice to comment on each. thanks.

[Chauron]

Originally posted by dogscoff:
Something else I just thought of, and it might not make a difference to you but there's a chance you'll find it helpful:

One way of building social/ self confidence is through physical contact. I'm not suggesting you go round hugging everyone but certain sports and activities can do wonders for your interaction with others.

I play soccer myself and let me tell ya, theres nothing like nailing some guy out on the field and stealing the ball
Getting into Team sports like Soccer/Football/Basketball etc sorta forces you to work with other ppl... now on my team there are several idiots that I don't care to be around but there are a couple guys that I have alot of fun with and we work together rather well...

[ May 22, 2003, 00:02: Message edited by: Chauron ]

[dogscoff]

The amount of ppl who have gone through the same sort of thing is amazing. I wish I'd had you guys around 10 years ago...

just a notice, my situation is much worsened by the fact that this is a still new country to me, radically different from anywhere i lived before.

Well then I guess you need to do something that will help you understand the Canadians better. I'm not canadian, so the best I can come up with is to get into ice hockey. I'm sure someone else will come up with a better suggestion soon.

[Narrew]

Originally posted by Taera:
i've been doing some things right, some not.

That the only thing we can do friend. And I am sure that it is hard to believe, but it gets easier as time goes on, and if not easier, then you realize (with age) what is important.

My senior year I was an exchange student to Sweden (ha Rutha). So here I am, an over weight kid that is not popular in school (rual Indiana) and go to Sweden, and guess what, I am popular because I am different, I loose weight, then while the U.S. is doing something in El Salvador there are protestors in downtown Boras against the U.S., well another american and I are walking by them and they try to pass us some propaganda and we told them in Swedish that we were Americans, though we made no threating gestures, they backed off fast So...I was the same person as 6 months earlier, just in a different setting.

I think the hardest thing will be language, more of the slang. I took English in Sweden and barely passed since American English is different from British English. I went to the movie Airplane, there is a spot where they say "its going to hit the fan now" and a pile of cow poo flies through the air and hits a fan, funny to me, but not so funny to my host parents.

I dont know how to help you there, watch movies at home to get the idea of the local humor.