(OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers

[Taera]

LOL thats a great idea there ruatha

[Jack Simth]

Originally posted by Taera:
hmm, i am doing that - but soon i still run out of topics to talk.

You can always ask for more details, or for specific details. Also, it sometimes helps to have a list of topics hidden away in your wallet. A sample list (no particular order, far from exhaustive):

• Work/School - co-workers/other students, employer/supervisor(s)/instructor(s), currently doing at
• The weather - enjoying it, favorite temperature, enjoy thunderstorms
• How did your day go / what's up / what have you been doing recently
• Music - favorite song, artist, genre; recently heard tunes
• Books - favorite story, author, genre; recently read books
• Movies - favorite movie, performer (careful with this one! ), director; recently seen movies
• Beliefs (Careful with this Category, but it is a must if you intend anything long term) - religion, politics, philosophy, specific issues
  

Note that with any such question, you will also want to ask "why?" in there somewhere. E.g.: If you ask "Do you like Bush being in the Oval Office?" you might get a yes/no response. However, if you follow that yes/no with "Any particular reason?" you are likely to get several sentences, at least.

[tbontob]

Hmmmm....

We all share the feeling of uncertainty, insecurity and awkwardness when we are with new people whose interests are a bit different from ours.

It does help to have a genuine interest in the other person as a person.

On some level this is sensed by the other person who then is likely to open about himself and more forgiving the faux pas we may make.

It also helps to remind oneself that it takes two to make a relationship and that if the other person should decline it, it is not our fault as the choice was not ours alone.

We may make a faux pax but it is always the choice of the other person as to how he is going to respond to it. To blame ourselves for the reactions of another person is taking on far too much responsibility.

This doesn't mean we shouldn't examine the faux pas and think about changing future behaviour. Quite the contrary. But we do need to be gentle with ourselves when we inadvertently make mistakes.

[Taera]

i dont know if anyone realy cares... but had just recently dawned on my, what is the real source of my troubles now.

you might have noticed by now that i have not-the-most-entertaining lifestyle. one might say, geeky or nerdy or whatever word you prefer. and yes it is so, no reason to hide from it. it is though not the way i realy want it to be.

about a year ago, back in israel, i made the semi-unconscious decision to change my life, but then moving to canada happened.

i believe its the fact that i am in a completely different, new and yet partially alien place for myself. in israel, i knew what i needed to do, where to do it, and i had my friends. here, im feeling lost.

it is good that the realization came to me, i guess now it'll be easier to solve the problem.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

This doesn't mean we shouldn't examine the faux pas and think about changing future behaviour. Quite the contrary. But we do need to be gentle with ourselves when we inadvertently make mistakes.

apologizing also helps.

[Atrocities]

Response to the Original post.

Originally posted by Taera:
Hello everyone, first off please keep this topic serious. if it drifts away ill just ask it to be deleted. thanks.

i have some problems... and hope that some of you, at least half of which are more than twice my age, can perharps advice me about.
Some background, in september '02 i immigrated, together with ymm family, to Canada.
Now it've been almost 9 months since then.
I find myself struggling to find friendships. Overally i am a relatively quiet person but this trait is acquired. I know some psychology and know how to deal with problems, and guess i would be able to get past through this - but i would appreciate some advice.

At this moment im very depressed. I spend most of my days home, on the computer. playing games.
While this *might* be okay for someone its not for me - in school (high school, 11th grade) i can not seem to be able to make friendships. As it appears i simply do not know how.

Other side is i happen to like a girl. She's now a friend of mine but im afraid to try anything further... because chances are it'll fail (very social, very nice looking girl, much different from me) i'll lose her as a friend (most likely). this does add up to my depression.

I am also suffering from lack of topics to talk about, with just about anyone (my interests kinda differ).

I am not looking for pity, this is a problem i got myself into. But i want this solved. Any advice appreciated.

And please, do not make me regret i made this post. I do not usually make such things, I simply trust you people to be serious.

Thanks.

Depression is a horrible horrible thing to have to live with. The only advice I would ever give in public about living with the pit falls of life would be to take it one day at a time and expect it all to come and go. Get a good nights sleep, and if your really depressed, and believe me you will know when that day comes, get help before it becomes to much. Trust me on this.

Thing do work out, and they often work out well.

[Atrocities]

Originally posted by Imperator Fyron:
Why do you assume that atheists would be uncomfortable? Most atheists I have ever met or heard of were tolerant of other people's beliefs. It is generally the extremely religious that are the intolerant ones (except for those few extremely anti-religious, but they are just as bad as the extremely religious).

If an atheist experienced what I did this weekend, s/he would be going to church this week.

Some people may have a belief in God, but not in religion, are they considered atheist? I honestly don't know the answer to that question, but I would like to.