OT: Despair

[Aiken]

Depression and despair are common things in our crazy world. Look at me. Am I sociopath? Yes. Reserved introvert? Yes. Paranoid? Yes (of late time, though, due to RL problems). Am I a patient of the psychiatrist? NO. And I'm not going to visit him.
I'm clearly understand that I'm abnormal, sometimes inadequate - I think different than most part of other people around me, a lot of human's fetiches are nothing for me and vice versa. So the question: why should I want to be normal? This world is not normal, it's too close to hell to be normal, and I'm not desire to be another demon in the crowd.
Sure, all this depress me. It's the common human instinct - to be the part of a pride, and resistance is difficult. But suicide is loss. We're affected by crowd opinion - diversity is danger, but throw it away, it's not worth your life.
Maybe I'm wrong, but until it concerns only me I will go my own way, even if would cost me money, success, popularity or other REAL_MAN_OBJECT_OF_LIFE.