Space Empires Evil Ruler Handbook.

[Gandalf Parker]

Originally posted by Urendi Maleldil:
47. Always trade ships with either no engines or no weapons

Hmmm I didnt know you could do that. For me I always trade scout ships, maps, planets that are deep in another AIs claimed territory. Often just before its attacked. I love starting wars between AIs. "Here, I will trade this rich planet over here for that junky one you have near my border. Isnt that a deal too good to pass up?"

[Atrocities]

49. - Never over look diplomacy. It can be a useful tool for your empire in your quest to rule the universe.

50. - War is a game of chess that neither sides is trained to play well at the onset, but as time progresses, tactics and strategies are learned until finally one side will have the knowledge to win. And in the future, if they fail to employ the lessons they have learned in one war in the next, then they are doomed to serve in heaven while their dead enemies rule in hell.

[ May 25, 2004, 20:05: Message edited by: Atrocities ]

[Atrocities]

There must be more we can add to this. Come on now, think!

[narf poit chez BOOM]

51: I will never refer to myself in the third person. It is a sure sign of psychosis and if I do so I will immediatly seek professional help.

[dogscoff]

Narf, that should read:
His Supreme Eminence will never refer to himself in the third person. It is a sure sign of psycosis, but anyone who dares to make such accusations will be executed.

[Alneyan]

52: While following a fixed schedule is very fine, I shall not strictly abide by it. Even the best of my plans can be countered, giving my crafty foes the window of opportunity they sought. Likewise, I will strive to remain unpredictable, as information is a powerful weapon to be used against my rule.

53: I will keep in mind not everybody is as perfect as myself. Therefore, I will handle everything happening in my Empire, leaving trifling matters such as the colour of my ships to the care of AIs. Besides, my Councillors will be entrusted with most of my knowledge, although their poor minds does not allow them to grasp all that they learnt. In other words, I will give them wrong information, in case they decided to turn traitor.

54: Likewise, I will not be too open about my secrets when I need to let my allies into my cunning schemes. Instead, I will feed them with partial truths and contradictory statements, allowing me to know if they compared their notes. If it is so, I will know they are too talkative, and will not put any trust in them.

55: I will apply the "Worst Case Scenario" approach to every problem. In the previous example, I would consider that the allies who did not openly react to my bogus information are not trustworthy. Indeed, they did not ask me to clarify my data, and so are not sincere enough and will not report to me anything out of the ordinary. (It could also mean these allies are too honest to share their knowledge with their other partners ; but I have no use for such allies)

56: Despite my obvious qualities, I will not forget I am still prone to having a few weaknesses. If my enemies send the most attractive creature (according to my fetishes/tastes) I have ever seen to act as an envoy, I will exerce caution and will only negociate with him/her/it through old-fashionned text-based communications.

57: I will remember that Murphy's Law applies everywhere in the galaxy, and so will take appropriate measures to lessen its impact. Therefore, I will not put a single Quantum Reactor in my war fleets, for the ship powered by this fabled device will be the first one to be destroyed in a battle. (Or even by a rogue asteroid, or other such hazards)

58: When dealing with my allies, I will remember to follow the basic rules of diplomacy. What I give to them will be as precise as possible, while my own demands should be as vague as you can get. Thus I will grant my partner the right to colonize Solaris III, the Gas Giant orbiting Solaris Major, whose characteristics are as follow:
- Diameter: 142,984 km
- Planetary Mass: 1.89x1027 kg
- Average Distance from the Sun: 5.203 AU
- Atmospheric Composition: Mostly Hydrogen and Helium.
(And so on) In exchange, I will ask to be allowed to colonize a few planets in their systems.

[Atrocities]

LOL Please keep them coming.