Phong's Head Cantina [TM] - Starfury Sector (A Wretched Hive of Scum and Villainy)

[General Woundwort]

Woundwort's wrist computer suddenly starts beeping wildly. He punches a few buttons on it and stares at a small screen on its top. He whistles, punches a few more buttons, and holds the computer near his mouth.

"Ladies, gentlemen, and assorted other beings. It appears sports night has started a little early today..."

He punches a few more buttons, and the fog screen that had been displaying the Angry Mob[tm] demanding the Starfury demo disappears. In its place, a live broadcast of a three-way fight between Rollo, Dogscoff, and Growltigger.

The patrons of the Cantina immediately begin rooting for various parties in the fight, and placing side bets.

[Erax]

A large holoprojection takes shape high over the Bar/Grille area...

"Erax to Wounwort. Urgent news. The Starfury demo has been released. Repeat, the Starfury demo has been released. Over and ou---umphhhhh."

A large holo-projected cream pie hits Erax's holo-projected head as his image disappears...

[Suicide Junkie]

Originally posted by Atrocities:
Ladies and Gentalmen, Suicide Junkie, the head of the Governmental Propaganda machine has entered the Bar.

The "offical" government position on the EEE is that there are no EEE. However, the "REAL" position is they do not want to start a panic as the EEE are coming in force. A huge armada of a billion ships and over a trillion shock troops - blob like things.

Nothing to see here folks, move along.

Actually, I've been here for quite some time. My ship is still under repair, and I can't take off until at least two engines are running.

The EEE are not the problem, its the Space Monsters that are chasing the EEE that you need to worry about.
See the claw marks on that battlecruiser in the spacedock?

Besides, are you really more worried about a couple of EEE troopers, or the insidious infectious scourge of spacemonsters?
Beware! A Demon Egg could be waiting aboard your ship, undetected and ready to hatch.

[ September 22, 2003, 18:06: Message edited by: Suicide Junkie ]

[General Woundwort]

The fight at the original Phong's Head winds down in an ankle-deep layer of merangue. The fog screen fades as the customers return to their original activities.

Woundwort smiles as he counts his winnings. As usual, Growltigger was declared the winner, and several side-bets on the Boss have paid off. He hands the pile of gold-pressed latinum to the maitre 'droid. "You know what to do with this."

"H. Uppmann double coronas?"

"Good lad."

[General Woundwort]

Hmmm... lots of traffic out there now that the demo's out, but it's gotten quiet in here... Hey RD, think we should extend the traditional "Free Drinks" Grand Opening Offer (we'd put it on Rag's tab, of course... )?

[Renegade 13]

Originally posted by General Woundwort:
Hmmm... lots of traffic out there now that the demo's out, but it's gotten quiet in here... Hey RD, think we should extend the traditional "Free Drinks" Grand Opening Offer (we'd put it on Rag's tab, of course... )?

Renegade walks up to the entrance of the Cantina. Spotting the "Free Drinks" Grand Opening Offer billboard, he looks at the small print under the offer. "No responsiblity is assumed for any bodily or psychological damage to anyone, anytime, anywhere within these premisis".

Well, that's just fair.

He then spots the massive holographic projection showing this sign:

"PHONG'S HEAD CANTINA[TM] - STARFURY SECTOR (A WRETCHED HIVE OF SCUM AND VILLAINY: EVERYONE WELCOME"

Assuming this to be true, he slowly enters the Cantina.

Poking his third eye in the door first, he spots a floor spotted with mounds of merangue and other assorted foods.

He then spots yet another sign saying,

"All weapons must be checked at the door."

This is gonna take a while.

After finishing with the weapons check, he walks slowly up to the bartender and shouts out,

"Hey barkeep, can I have a Strangulated Supernova on the rocks. Oh, and by on the rocks I mean with a crushed up pebble or two mixed in."

Eyeing the floor covered in all manner of food and condoments, he thinks to himself,

What have I gotten myself into?

[ October 04, 2003, 14:51: Message edited by: Renegade 13 ]

[General Woundwort]

Woundwort walks out of his office on the third floor and notices the junk on the floor in the main room.

"SANCHO!!!"

The maitre d'roid rushes up. "Yes, sir?"

"What is all that stuff doing on the floor?!?"

"Oh. Uh... Waitaminute, I think I know. Someone must have disengaged the safety protocols on the holoprojector when we were broadcasting the food fight in the Home Cantina."

"Hrmph. Makes sense. Well, get it cleaned up immediately. Oh, and since Deadstar is the only other person here who could have changed the safety protocols, tell him I want to see him... NOW."

"Yessir."

Woundwort, watching the batch of janitorbots cleaning up the merangue, notices the new customer. He quickly takes the turbolift down to the main floor and walks over.

"Welcome to the Phong's Head, Renegade!"

[ October 04, 2003, 16:43: Message edited by: General Woundwort ]