MP game - "Pantheons" Started

dum-de-dum-dum-dum-dum dum-de-dum-dum-dum-dum (insert punchy news theme here).

Welcome to the Aran News Network tonight, as the cold war that's Lasted a decade turns hot, and fighting breaks out across the continent.

The main story tonight; the Vanheim Allfather dies in an abortive "decapitaion strike" on the Machaka capital. Eyewitnesses say he was Last seen crawling on the ground crying "my eye, where's my eye?" when he was killed by a longdead infantryman. A Vanheim spokesdwarf said, "oops".

In a major campaign, Arco forces threaten to surround the Pythium capital. "We cannot get out! We cannot get out! THey are coming..." said a slightly hysterical Pythium spokesnake.

In a shock development, C'tis' main fortifications turn out to be made of gingerbread. Standing within the wreckage of the gatehouse at C'tis, Njarl Njarlsensen - a Jotunheim Niefel Giant - said; "I just knocked on da door and it all fell down. Mmm, tasty!" In a rare personal interview, the C'tis Ghost-King said, "whooooooooooooooooo!" (Tune in at Eight tonight for a two-hour special on the role of gingerbread in military history)

Mictlan forces fight a delaying action against hordes of Machaka spiders. As Mictlan prepares for a long siege, a sacrificial spokesvictim said "arrrgh!"

As the joint forces of the Motherhood and Apple-pie Alliance struggle to hold off the advancing Evil Overlords, many are asking what Caelum is contributing to the effort. The Caelum spokesmammoth was unavailable for comment.

And finally, Pangaea reasserts its commitment to peace. Their spokeshippy said; "hey man, what if they held a war and nobody came? Everybody should, like, give up this terrible fighting and live in communion with nature. Yeah, baby!"

And that's the news tonight. Good night Aran.

(fade to black as punchy news theme comes back)

[Pickles]

Mark the Merciful said:
In a shock development, C'tis' main fortifications turn out to be made of gingerbread. Standing within the wreckage of the gatehouse at C'tis, Njarl Njarlsensen - a Jotunheim Niefel Giant - said; "I just knocked on da door and it all fell down. Mmm, tasty!" In a rare personal interview, the C'tis Ghost-King said, "whooooooooooooooooo!" (Tune in at Eight tonight for a two-hour special on the role of gingerbread in military history)

Obviously this is not a problem as 10 big blue giants on turn 10 is one of the specific threats we identified & were ready to deal with.

I am right aren't I Boron?

Boron?

[Lex]

ROFL

[Aku]

Pickles...Boron will kill the giants with his gingerbread man army. They also do the spell "rain of ginger" which coats the giants with ginger for the ginger bread men to eat them.

[The_Tauren13]

LOL Mark that was good stuff.

[Cheezeninja]

I am Vanheim, for the record, and it was my Allfather that met his dysmal end against Machakan PD. I knew it was a risky move, but a few of my allies were being pressed and i decided to take the chance, I didnt think it would be quite THAT risky though... ahh well, live and learn. At least he will still be plenty powerful if i can ever get him back and healthy... That newscast was hilarious =)

dum-de-dum-dum-dum-dum etc.

Welcome to Aran News Network, brought to you by the Power of the Spheres.

The main story tonight; Ulm's Cyclops dies in a tragic wraithsword accident. An Ulmish spokesmith said, "He'll be back. Anyone need any horseshoes?" The Jotunheim Ministry of Propoganda and Gloating issued the following press release; "Ha ha ha!" Analysts speculate that one-eyed Pretenders may have had their day; "in these modern times one needs to have a global vision to be a competiitive Pretender" said Pontius Pontificus of the Aran Institute of Theology. "That's twice as hard with only one eye."

A bribery scandal rocks the Motherhood and Apple-pie Alliance, as several prominent Mercenary Companies defect from the Evil Overlords, causing much confusion on the front lines. Many claim the defections are the result of enormous bribes paid to the mercenary Captains; eye-witnesses state that every soldier in Brave's Breakers was wearing a gold Rolex at a recent parade. Aides to Captain Brave say that he is currently unable to comment because of an Ulmish lance stuck through his head.

Machakan and Arco forces withdraw from some of their most advanced positions. "Aaaaaargh!"s of celebration were heard from sacrificial victims all across the Mictlan capital city.

In a new development, giants in the armies of Jotunheim are going into battle with strange runes etched into their breastplates and shields. An Ulmish crossbowman who took part in a recent battle said; "a bloke in my platoon speaks Jote, and he told me the runes said things like; 'this Niefel Jarl is proudly sponsored by Cealum Airlines.' and 'Caelum Airlines: Fast as lightning.'" Does this indicate a new phase in the war? A Caelum spokeseraph smiled seraphicly and refused to comment.

And finally, mysterious Pangaea continues to maintian its lonely peaceful course. The Pangaean spokesmaenad was so distracting we forgot to ask her any questions. Pictures at seven, eight, nine, eleven, twelve and all through the night on the Aran XXX channel.

And that's all from Aran News tonight. Good night.

Dum-de-dum etc.

[reverend]

*swamp gas forming the National Pythium News logo*

In a confusing turn of events, celebration of Pythium Archtheurg Egalitus over encircling the Arco army sieging the Pythium capitol was cut short, when Caelum Airlines landed in the snakes camp.

Caelum Spokesseraph comments on this: "Ooops."

Caelum Airlines CEO blames this event on bad weather, to which Pythium spokessnakes reponded: "This isn't bad weather, it's a SWAMP for snakes sake!"

*swamp gas forming the National Pythium News logo*

[Aku]

Pangaea says that Korak is a male name not a female name.

And keep up the writing Mark.

[Lex]

reverend said:
*swamp gas forming the National Pythium News logo*

In a confusing turn of events, celebration of Pythium Archtheurg Egalitus over encircling the Arco army sieging the Pythium capitol was cut short, when Caelum Airlines landed in the snakes camp.

Caelum Spokesseraph comments on this: "Ooops."

Caelum Airlines CEO blames this event on bad weather, to which Pythium spokessnakes reponded: "This isn't bad weather, it's a SWAMP for snakes sake!"

*swamp gas forming the National Pythium News logo*

Official Response from Caelum Airlines: "The flash of light you saw in the sky was not our Airlines. Swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus."