OT: Hi Jack, Take my Thread Please. ;)

[Alneyan]

NSN Murphy's Law, you are ordered to fire at the incoming spacesuit with all your turrets/beams/weapons/cannons/nasty things. If no weaponry can target the bogey, then simply engage maximum thrust and run like the winds. If you cannot outrun the incoming threat, simply stop and trigger a depressurisation as soon as the spacesuit enters the vessel.

If none of the above applies, please destroy all your engines, and scuttle yourself if applicable. Help is on the way, but you need to hold the invader at bay for an undetermined amount of time. One millenium should do the trick really. Reinforcements are still a long way off, so we need you to survive until then.

Oh, and do your best to escape Earth's gravitational pull. I thought the "planet-sized ship" part was just an ad catchphrase. Of course, it might have worked if you, my trusty ship, had just barely touched Earth, but I am reluctant to try this kind of stunt while I am still on the said planet.