Randomn my foot!

[Atrocities]

I was told because of my size I would need to pay for two seats on the plane. (Back when I was thinking about going on vacation and pricing things out.) That discouraged me horribly. (Pre-911)

Airport security is a joke. It only serves to scrutinize the inocent while costing us all money. If they want to protect air planes, then require all pilots to take a breath test before take off.

"The terrorist took over the plane with a one inch toe clipper and a black hair comb!"
"He what?"
"The pilot was so drunk he thought the clipper was at least two inches long and the hair comb was a gun!"
"Oh my God! What happened?"
"Well everyone was terrified, I mean he had a comb and a once inch toe clipper for crying out loud, but this one guy, a fat man from coach, who was already upset over having to pay for two seats, even though the one next to him had some old lady in it, risked all of our lives and took on the terrorist."
"Oh my, what happened?"
"The fat guy beat the poor would be mass murdering terrorist senseless then demanded a refund for the extra seat that the old lady was sitting in."
"Damn vigilanties!"
"Ya, they arrested him when we landed and let the terrorist guy go so long as he promised not to sue the airline."
[insert]Mug Shot of me[/insert]
Crazed fat man beats inocent terrorist in fit of rage. Story at ll.