Re: server connect
I don't see how demanding things of a militarily stronger opponent is a reasonable offer. It's the same 'diplomacy' you tried with me when you spotted me coming from the west - offering me one or two provinces I essentially already owned and demanding I go no further east when you had nothing to back it up. If it's going to be so easy beating me in the ocean, then I don't see why you tried that in the first place.
As for knowing who to blame if I do well, I'd guess that would be you, since you're making unreasonable demands of those around you and threatening to try and throw the game.
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