I also think 1 would be nice.
2 I think is very important. I have seen many battles lost due to this irritating AI quirk.
3 is nice though double click a unit will choose all of the same type so this helps some.
1 should be doable. The codebase for red higlights for units' graphics exists already. It's seen when you hover your mouse over a unit in some screens, like the army selection. Adding a key that highlights all friendly units when a key is pressed might be easy to do.