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Old January 17th, 2008, 02:43 PM
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Default Re: It\'s a miracle!

I went over the whole .dm file, and here are some suggestions/corrections:

Lo'hem's description:
"They and Shomrey Shayarot" should either be "They and Shomrey HaShayarot" (maybe with some different capitalization :S) or "They and the Shomrey Shayarot" (which makes less sense to me.) Consider changing "accurate" to "more accurate", though both are correct.
Lo'hem Vatik - consider having him start older, since he is a veteran. Possibly other units as well.
Lohem Mekudash - I know nothing about balance, but perhaps changing his awe 1 to awe 0 is possible and will work?
Sar Milhama - IIRC it should be "inspire their troops to deeds..." and not "inspire their troops into deeds..."
Sar Hamishim - "The Sarey Ha'hamishim" should either be "Sarey Ha'hamishim" or "The Sarey Hamishim", since "the" and "ha" are [somewhat] equivalent. For consistency, I'd suggest "The Sarey Hamishim"
Shophet - "... and they Judges ..." should be "... and the Judges ...". "righteousness" should be "righteousness" (appears twice). "from catastrophes" should IMO be "from many catastrophes" in order to be more intuitive.
Haham - according to their description, they are very fitting as fortune tellers.
Navi - "advisors of their" should IMO be "advisors to their". "Nevi'm" should be "Nevi'im"(more than once).
Shimshon's description - "immensively"->"immensely" "strenght"->"strength" (the sentence with "strength" should probably be revised a bit, maybe some punctuation)
Eliyyahu - "promtly"->"promptly", also, his name should probably be "Eliyahu" or "Eli'yahu". "people came convinced"->"people became convinced". "He fled away the wrath"->"He fled from the wrath" or maybe "He fled away from the wrath". I think "mount" could probably be "mountain". "to right track"->"to the right track"
Kruvim - singular of Kruvim is Kruv, so in the name, as well as wherever there is the singular form, it should be Kruv."unerthly"->"unearthly"."equiped"->"equipped"."with Aura"->"with an Aura" or "by an Aura"
Angel of Death - "as well declared"->"as well as declared"."upon them."->"upon themselves.".
#brief - "Ne'vim"->"Nevi'im"
#descr - "men who was"->"men that was", I think."was Pantokrator's" should probably be "was the Pantokrator's"."But Pantokrator"->"But the Pantokrator"."Ne'vim"->"Nevi'im".
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