The Galactic Bash Story Thread

[Gryphin]

2380,
High Gryphin leaned back in his elevated perch. Made of Rock, carved to fit him perfectly. His eyes scanned the “Highs” seated before him. He read their poorly controlled body language. Something was about to fly.
The thought went through his conscious mine that, “It had better be good, or someone is going to be researching eye color of the blind aggit”
A light snap of his beak and the room went quite. Dispensing with ceremony he addressed the first High on the left.
“Hrrs, Report”
The High Researcher of the Solar System adjusted his feathers and responded in his best monotone voice. Despite his efforts, this body gave away the excitement. “High, We have confirmed there is life on the planet known as Gryphin II. We have reason to believe it is a highly advanced form though we have not confirmed this as of yet. Our ancient computers are now cross-indexing the Mythos of Our Origins, The Great Voyage, and the data from our scopes. It is possible that the Mythos was not a myth after all. We have initiated attempts to translate radio and optical data that is being transmitted directly at us from Gryphin II. We have also begun to transmit greeting from us using several mathematical variations. I believe the Chief of Quadrant Research as similar information on another star system…
“Hqr, Report”, cutting off Hrrs in mid click of a word
“High Gryphin, We have analyzed data coming from another planet n and other star system that is too close to the data from Gryphin II to be a coincidence. Working with Hrrs, we are comparing the data from each source and looking for patterns. We are not alone.” The body language of the Last statement sent shivers around the room.
To hide his own response, High Grphin clicked out, “Hrst Report”!
The High Researcher of Space Travel spoke less excitedly with a slight nervous edge. “The design of the colony ships is near complete. We are still having difficulty with the engines as we will have to be in space to test them. We have an exceptional Researcher working on a simulator but our computers are so out dated. Additional delays on the design of the ships are coming form the various Research Groups claiming we should mimize cost and risk by making the smallest ship possible. Others say, (in particular the Researcher of Population and Society say we must make them as big and fast as we can to relive the stress on our over populated world”.
“Rps, Report”
High Gryphin, Hrst is right, we are getting substantial resistance to building large fast colony ships from conservative parties”, There was no effort to conceal body language that exuded disdain for the Researcher of Safety. I firmly believe we must take our chances and move as many people off planet as possible. Sir the people are happy. They are reproducing like the proverbial Yiffiys from the “The Great Voyage”. We must do something.
High Gryphin’s body language, (bl), communicated, “Do not challenge this decision”! “Large cargo, slow ships”.

[Growltigga]

2400.2

Growltigga the Great yawned and carefully put down the monthly reports he was reading. Growltigga longed for the days of when he was simply a humble commander of an assault battalion in the Unification Wars that led to the formation of the Growltigga Alliance. At least then his options were simple - advance toward the enemy, give them hell and rip them limb from limb - Growltigga missed the warm heat of an enemy's blood squirting across his muzzle after biting its throat out - he also missed the expressions in prisioner's faces when they saw their comrades being decapitated and the heads being stuffed up their rectums

"Still" Growltigga thought "being il duce and lord of the universe is pretty good". The new warship designs were rolling off the yards. The research faculy were coming up with some spiffing stuff. A Kentucky Fried Gryphin was opening up nearby and Growltigga had a hot date with a JLo lookalike. '"Actually' thought Growltigga, "Life is pretty good"

[mac5732]

His most Glorious, Magnificent, Highness, Twixle the 4th, stood on the research pad outside of the center looking at the new CTW-1 Crusier that was ready for testing.

What a magnificent site to behold, another organ to ply the ways of the Universe in the continuation of our Quest. His lead scientists had told him the new cruiser was outfitted with new revolutionary systems that far exceeded anything that had gone before.

The anticipation that Twixle the 4th had was so immense, a slight discolored liquid began oozzzing down his lower appendages, his body began to shiver, and as he watched the cruiser lift into the sky, Twixle started to think of his wives in a most appropoe manner, like usual when he saw one of his mighty ships of war rise up to fulfill the quest. He was already turning away, fantasizing of things that were non military in nature with a specific wife, the one with the very enlarged...Whaaaaammmmmm, a large explosion from above rippled downward, shaking the very ground upon which he stood, knocking everyone onto the ground, except Twixle the 4th, he was able to wrap his arms around a railing which was next to him. Everyone else was displaced in various poses along the reserch pad. His Highness, Twixle the 4th, looked up and saw that the mighty cruiser of which he was so proud, was apparently coming to ground in various and most numerous pieces.

Damn those lousy creatures in the labs. Another failed experiment. Now we will have to continue our expansion and quest with those small untidy outdated escorts. This is no way to begin our outward quest. Heads will roll, when I'm done with those ingrates they'll look like those small furry creatures that walk around the outback, the ones that look like they have whiskers and a orange pointed whatever protruding from their backsides. Still can't figure out how they hop around like that with those long whiskers and whatever that orange thing is. Its like a cross between two disgusting animals. All that research and resources wasted again, this can't continue, science must go foreward, he thought to himself as he walked slowly to his waiting grey long earred, 4 footed ride. There has to be a better way then this to get around he muttered to himself, as he picked up the long pole which had a string with a large orangish looking piece of food with green sprouts coming out the top. His Mightines Highness Twixle the 4th, straddled this grey colored creature, and while holding the pole and dangling the food in front of the creatures mouth rode off to his palace to begin another day of dreaming of what might be.

to be continued.

from the History of the Tka-Chik Empire

[Story Junkie]

Links!

Edit: spelling in sig.

[ 10 May 2002, 17:10: Message edited by: Story Junkie ]

[mac5732]

SJ, tks for including the thread into your links, that was very nice of you to do

just some ideas mac

[mac5732]

Lt. Commander "IhamNobody", of Tka-Chik gp-scout 1, was sitting in his captains chair watching his display of his surroundings. "Damn Computer glitches, this is the 3rd time in the Last life cycle that the stupid system went down. Can't our beloved researchers get the bugs out of this thing," he thought as he belched a large sigh. "I had to use message drones to send back to the Admiralty with updates on our discoveries. Sometimes I wonder who side they are on he contemplated".

Lt. Commander IhamNobody, dwelled on the orders he received from his superiors. Seek out colonizable planets in adjacent systems especially to be on the lookout for those with ancient ruins that may contain advanced knowledge. The colonies were a necessity in order for his race to continue in the Quest thru the outer reaches of the Universe. They needed to establish bases from which to launch new and more ships in furtherance of their mandate from His Most Illustrious Twixle the 4th.

The only problem he thought, what if we find another space faring race, do we trade, talk or fight, he muld over in his mind. The reprecussions could be catistrophic if they were found to be warlike. With that in mind, he ordered his communitcation officer, "WeAreOne" to prepare several drones for instant release, in case that should happen with their current location. He was just getting up from his chair when ....

to be continued

from history of Tka-Chik Empire

[ZeroAdunn]

Emperor Kilbot 9000 stood before the assembly. The great hall was filled with Generals, Admirals, Armidillos, Alcaholics, and a couple of out of work actors from crappy fox sitcoms who had wandered in from across the street. They were all here to hear Kilbot 9000 speak about the current state of affairs in the Empire of Overworked and Underpaid robots. The empire was large, as most robots work far to many hours, and very few of them get paid with anything other than some power cells and oil, which most nations were cutting back on due to the recent rise in oil prices because some idiot, when asked if he wanted to Uninstall Windows or destroy the greater portion of the Milky Way galaxy chose to destroy the greater portion of the milkway galaxy.... But that is a whole nother story...

Anywho, he stood before the assembled crowd, all thirty four and a half of them and said, "Shhh,"

A great chear arose from the crowd. If kilbot 9000 had been built with a mouth, or any sort of externally movable port for that matter, he would have smilled, or at least moved. When the chearing had finally died the audiance stood in quiet awe of Kilbot 9000's greatness, they silently stood, waiting for what their great leader would say next....

And then it happened, Kilbot 9000 in all his glower said, "Ping," and two small pieces of toast came popping out of his top. The crowd went into a frenzy, with their glorious leader's immense knowledge and incredible military prowess leading them, the great Empire of Overworked and Underpaid robots would go onto victory. Nothing could stop an army of 550,000 robots and two out of work actors from a crappy fox sitcom! The future looked very bright, very bright indeed.