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March 7th, 2003, 03:29 AM
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General
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Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 4,323
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Re: Othaglot and Cane - Story Thread
Nice as it is, but incongrous. The story is already a bit fragmented by the leaping between narrators, but this is out of place after the arrival on the Marilyn has already been described, and we were left with the cliff-hanger of an obvious attack. Move this to chapter 16 or something? 
[ March 07, 2003, 01:31: Message edited by: Baron Munchausen ] |
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