Final Newbie Question (or compilation of questions!)

[Black Sun Empire]

When taking over independents, what is the best method?

Last night I attempted to play a game, with Nief (Sorry not sure about their full names yet). Sent my scout running outwards just to get a feel for what was around me.

Then I sent 3 armies out and about knocking off independents.

Normally with 6 (guys that turn into big werewolfs?)
Just an aside, how do I make them into werewolfs from the start? It normally requires them to get pissed off before they change.

So I am expanding lovely, then C'tis and some Caelum (sp?) are coming at me from both the top and bottom. I send my troops into the C'tis fortress and seige the thing, my god that takes forever, even longer when you don't know how to enter the gates.

My main problem is, I keep losing my other provinces, I will take one and lose one. My troops keep having problems with starvation as well, how can I fix that? Is there a trick to taking over independents?

Is it best to take the ones closest to your home first, then slowly work your way out?

Normally playing games very aggressively, I just rushed out and started attacking. I killed the C'tis god and they said they would do everything to stop me, does this mean I killed his pretender? How can I completely destroy the C'tis?