MP: Primordial Cake - [Game In Progress]

[shunwick]

Is there anyone not at war with Mictlan?

Despite fighting several wars with his neighbours on widely separate fronts, the Capitalist Warmongering Hyena known as “Bloodpuppets” launched a cowadly sneak attack on the peaceful and respectable cave province of Barra. The minimally defended province was under the command of Comrade Provincial Governor Stene who was slain in a brave attempt to fight off the invading force. The Pythium Leadership is so concerned by this unprovoked aggression that they have raised the Empire Threat Level from “No Worries” to “Slightly Put Out”.

The Voice of Pythium has been able to track down an old acquaintance of the mad “Bloodpuppets”. Speaking from the academy in the city of Cimri, Comrade Research Assistant Aesculapios revealed that he went to school with the insane dictator of Mictlan. “Oh yes,” he said, “I remember Chubby.”

Apparently, the Loopy Dic attended the Cimri High School in his early years where he was known as Stanley Limpthwaite. “Used to pull the legs of a spiders,” explained his former classmate. “Mad a march hare. Some of the other kids began calling him names like scumsucker, dipstick and so on. Eventually they settled on Chubby. Well, you know, for obvious reasons. Children can be so cruel sometimes.”

One of his former teachers at the High School, Comrade Benim, said, “Stanley was such a strange child. Not quite right in the head, you know. Fairly ugly I seem to recall and not very bright. There were a lot of nasty incidents at the time but we could never catch him at it.”

The small probing force that Mictlan sent into Barra province is being invited to withdraw and a strongly worded letter to this effect has already been despatched. Whether such a polite response is enough to sway the insane megalomania of Stanley Limpthwaite is unknown at this time. A more forceful approach may be necessary to deal with this nuisance.

An armed reconnaissance force has been sent from Cimri into the province of Old Man Mountains in an attempt to collect information on the renegade golem mage Antatus. The small recon force contains mainly those troops convalescing from injuries sustained in the Gath Campaign. We wish Comrade General Celarim and his limping and wheezing recon troops well.

The banquet in the Pythium Capital for the Special Forces Group was a great success. Comrade General Eric received grateful thanks for this stunning victory and his winning charm made him many friends at the glittering ball. Missing from the celebrations, however, was Hero of the Peoples Comrade Teacher Ooo Daman who stayed on in the newly acquired province of Bright Woods where he and his band of Comrade Outreach workers established a re-education centre and quickly brought peace and stability to that troubled land.

In exciting news, Comrade General Secretary Vsevolod announced the annexation of the province of Ministra. The new province, free of control from any of the major powers, was completely devoid of any defence and was liberated by the daring exploits of Comrade Ambassador Stanebor. The province is a long way from the Democratic People’s Republic of Pythium and shares a border with both the Noble Empire of Agartha and Mad “Bloodpuppet’s” Insane Realm of Mictlan. Naturally, we wish the inhabitants of Ministra every success and welcome them into the enlightened and peaceful family of Democratic Republics.

Finally, we understand that the orgies continue in the Cimri. “Orgies, orgies everywhere. It’s disgusting and immoral,” said one outraged resident, “and not an invite in sight.”

The Peoples of Pythium await further news.

[AreaOfEffect]

Originally Posted by Gargouille

In the beginning Chelms contact us for make peace. We say yes, we are loyal. Last month Chelms attack us, 4 sneak attacks, and lose 3. With Atlantis, Chelms can win, but Chelms lose his honnor, they are liars.

Actually, I sent you a message via in-game where I broke my NAP. I waited a full four turns. The message was sent on turn 34. I attacked you on turn 38. Plenty of time by anyone's standard of a 3 round NAP. Check your turns and you will see I am correct.

[mattyburn7]

Bogarus kindly asks the Lizards of C'tis to stop harassing our Scout Troops who are peacefully hiking.

[AreaOfEffect]

Until someone tells me otherwise, I'm giving the credit for Patala's demise to Ermor. Good luck in other games there ghoul. Thank you for playing with us.

[shunwick]

AreaOfEffect,

Patala got double tagged by the Ermorian-Agarthan Alliance though finally killed off by Ermor. It will be interesting to see who Patala names as his main nemisis.

Best wishes,
Steve

[YellowCactus]

Mictlan Priests are not know for their superior diplomatic skills. One village elder was quoted saying "The Kingdom is most peaceful when the Jaguar Warriors are campaigning elsewhere."

Most of the Mictlan empire is learning to enjoy cold weather, and speaking Caelum Tongue in order to please our bird-winged overlords. In the North, we are clearing out a big of living space from the C'tis swamps. Around our Capitol.....Arco has decided to trample around with some elephants. They are most unwelcome!

[Unoptimized]

Grind's Log,

I cannot believe that the ruse is working. We all knew that Nero was blind…but this defies all reason.

For a transcendent genius, Nero is mind-bogglingly clueless.

I pen this as we have finally taken the empire of Patala and their fierce serpent-gods out from their last stronghold. While I have been working diligently for the Silent Empire, Nero is in the library which has been his home for over 3 years. We have managed to convince him that his great experiments have failed, and that the people of Ermor still breath. This was accomplished by staffing his library with the last 10 noisy breathers in Ermor.

They appropriately cower in fear as Nero cries out that “THEY WILL RUE THE DAY” or “THEY THOUGHT ME MAD!” in all caps. They talk about how alive they are, and how much they like food made from wherever food comes from. Then he gets back to his research, which his librarians proceed to steal. That this system has worked for so long…I just…I just don’t understand.

What I DO understand is that the mountain barbarians of the north march into the Silent Empire. With our southern campaign concluded, our legions march to meet them.

[shunwick]

This is the Voice of Pythium

In a dramatic speech outside the Palace of Heroes, Comrade General Secretary Vsevolod pledged wholehearted support for the Enlightened Empire of Mictlan. The Democratic People’s Republic of Pythium, as you know, has been a staunch supporter of the benevolent and kind Bloodpuppets. “Under Bloodpuppets’ sure and steady leadership, Mictlan has become a nation to admire and emulate,” he said.

The Voice of Pythium would also add that the foul and vicious rumours surrounding the Mictlan Leadership are nothing more than scurrilous tittle-tattle and condemns anyone guilty of peddling such trash.

In further news, it seems that the refit for Pytium’s Special Forces Group under the overall leadership of Comrade General Eric has been completed in superfast time. Speculation is rife that the days of Antatus, the renegade Golem Mage are numbered.

Finally, congratulations are in order to the armed reconnaissance group who performed sterling work in the last mission. Sadly, nine comrade soldiers of the recon team lost their lives in the operation. A memorial is being prepared in the great city of Cimri to mark the fallen heroes.

The Peoples of Pythium await further news.

[HoleyDooley]

This is like read a novel, great stuff guys.

[shunwick]

Oh bum...