History of the Galaxy II

[Jmenschenfresser]

Chapter 1--Part 4:
2401.0

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LEON
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"Sure...my mother gave me a name. But I ****in' forgot it. When I was about twenty and living in an orphanage, I read a story. First thing I ever read. Was about two spies named Lee'atis and Oneh. That impressed me. I knew then I wanted to do that ****. I wanted to be a spy. So I named myself Leon using the first two letters of the guys from the book. Le...On... That's me.

But spyin' isn't just killin' and ****in'. It's boring **** most of the time. Lots of it is just sitting around in one place waiting for something to happen, which the guy who's filling your pockets thinks might happen. If that makes any ****in' sense at all.

By the time I was thirty-five, and too old for school, I'd lived with four of the five tribes. You see, the basic looks of a Heru are the same. The Rellan tend to have red hair, but not all. Such a thing don't exclude a person. It's the **** they hang on their bodies, and the way they act and think that cuts the tribe lines. Drop an Omonite in a room full of Vellon, even if he don't look like a Omonite, and they'll all know he's one before he even opens his mouth. Then once he does, it'll be that much more apparent. That's where I come in. I can act like all of them. A nomad. Those who don't know or don't care what tribe they are from are nomads. But most nomads don't understand the tribal quirks, so they congregate, unwelcome everywhere.

****, I hate working around the Boohr...normally. One good thing is they don't kick you around while giving orders. Everybody just does what he's told to do. But, as I said, normally, it sucks. No sex. No fights. No booty. Just yes and no. Work, sleep, **** and eat. What kinda religion is that?

Anyway, I'm here on their first space transport ship. A Boohr ship, acting as a Boohr officer. Everyone's always used the Boohr for getting stuff from point A to point B. Thing is they don't work for a profit...just what they need to maintain and grow a little. So they're cheap. And they've managed to continue that faculty in space apparently.

Who's payin' me? None of your ****in' business!

But I'm here to look after what's being moved around and keep my ears open. Already the Vellon, the Omon and the Rellan have colonies in other systems. Like I said, this would normally be a boring *** assignment, but there's plenty of ****-for-brains peasants on board headed to the Vellon colony in Primidara. 300 some odd million of 'em. The Vellon, in all their world reknowned wisdom, decided to truck their peasants out there first, thinking they needed the masses for labor. Everyone knows the Vellon are perfectionists when it comes to eating their enemies for breakfast, but they couldn't organize themselves a proper picnic without riots and someone pulling a blade. I've met the drunken captains on this ship, and I know in bringing the peasants, they also managed to allow on board every major peasant revolutionist and instigator. Just giddy as they can be thinking revolution will be easier on another rock. Soon as they hit the ground, they'll be a change of leadership, and the Vellon rulers back in Spica will have to spend the next two years ordering people hung from trees on a planet they've never been to. Dumb ****s.

But I love those Vellon women they got on board. Long as you look like a Vellon, talk like one, act like one, and the possible husband ain't bigger than you, they'll do most anything you want. But I don't cause trouble...don't get paid for that...normally...

Naw, I just bide my time, and collect my pay.