An example of a comprehensive and thoughtful analysis: reflexion on the relationship between the members of the Alliance of Doom, which is to say Primitive and Alneyan (have you noticed how anything is more fun when it is "of Doom"? Ah, you aren't reading this thread because of such considerations).
"The Last sparkles of the dying fire gave an eerie atmosphere to the room as they gave their faltering light to the sumptuous decorations on the walls. By the heart was the magnificent throne of the rightful King, the no less majestic Primitive. A sense of wonder filled every of his subjects when they set their eyes on his regal figure. The fragnance of lavender followed the steps of the Lord Protector Alneyan, adorned in his silver armour. As he came near, the King was staring at the dancing flames, a pondering expression written on his features.
Gentle reader, if you have been fooled by my attempt at drama, my best advice is to stop reading these lines at once. Only official propaganda would pretend such a scene could happen in our land; it does require an inquisitive mind to dismiss, and this work is only intended for a like-minded audience.
In fact, Primitive was sitting on the ground of his dusty cavern, dressed in a ragged leather suit and wielding his sledgehammer as a royal scepter. The smells of raw meat, filth and blood were stifling, and could not fail to bring uneasiness to any guest (most did make a bothersome connection between the weapon, the odor of blood and their own persons). He was scolding the whole assembly of his subjects, which were made of two mice (called Pinky and the brain) and Alneyan, clad from head to foot in a black robe. And such words were uttered by Primitive:
- 'Did you hear the latest news? I will not suffer such inconveniences! Do you hear me?' Already the Primitive One was threatening to throw a tantrum, and blood was rising to his cheeks.
- 'Yes my Liege. Might I ask you what troubles you so my Liege?' Alneyan awkwardly shifted his hands in his black robe, which almost threatened to drown him.
- 'No, you cannot. You should figure it out on your own before I have to summon you here. Or are you a dimwit?'
- 'Yes my Liege. Erh, I mean, no my Liege. What may have escaped my attention?'
-'Do not dare mock me!'
-'No my Liege.' There was only a heartbeat moment of hesitation, but it was certainly noticeable.
-'Humpft. I will be blunt: your service has been far from being even adequate, and I do not see why I keep you in my service.'
"Neither do I" or "Perhaps these chains might make doing anything a tad more difficult" were tartly responses suitable to answer back, but somehow Alneyan had an hunch it wouldn't agree with diplomacy. Instead, he merely replied 'And what shall I do then?'
- 'Following my instructions will be enough. You know I am too busy with this silly conflict to take the time to check everything you might be doing wrong. What part of this sentence is too difficult for you to understand?'
- 'It is quite clear, my Liege. So what would be required to assist you in your skirmish against the Bane of Worlds to the south?'
An actual burst of laughter came from Primitive. 'Why, I will not entrust you with any matter regarding that war. It is a business for serious men, and we don't need someone as green as summer. Now, what I need you to do is to stop putting so much salt in all my meals. Go fix food for me, and get lost.'
Words are indeed useless to explain how enlightening this exchange was.
From the memories of a renegade, by Prisoner 4147-91."
Editor's note: Due to pressing concerns involving torture and retribution, the author did not manage to meet the deadline for publication of his work. He is said to be still alive, somewhere in the caverns, and so he may come back to finish it. It does seem unlikely nonetheless.
Until then, here is the valuable information which didn't make it to the bookstores: the war machines used by the Horde are decoy, as the Alliance of Doom cannot afford to outfit them with weaponry. As such, nobody should be scared of seeing a host of cruisers marching to war, since they are mostly harmless.
The reason for it is as follow: the abduction of the matron Vyrnesha, leading the Ilythiiri Hegemony, has caused the deterioration of the relationship between the two members of the Alliance of Doom (Primitive and Alneyan). Likewise, the ruthless Primitive has quenched all protests in blood, which lead to disquiet among the populace. It has then been decided to throw good money after bad, and the Alliance of Doom tried its best to regain control over its subjects by unleashing three million barbarians with extensive orders (they were "Kill and Destroy"). After a few months, the whole resources of the Alliance were put to the inward front, while the actual foe was left alone and unchecked.
I will have to beg forgiveness for the poor update, but not much has happened during these Last few turns. Mark glassed one or two more planets, while I gathered my courage to destroy one unarmed ship of his which was roaming near one of my colonies. It has been declared a major victory, and three weeks of celebrations followed, weakening even more my Empire.
I gather these turns were the calm before the storm. But what sort of storm will it be? My bet is that it will be Primitive's wrath falling on my poor shoulders given my incompetence at handling my Empire.
Re: The Grudge-Match of Doom - (trashtalk/game progress)
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