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  #1  
Old May 30th, 2004, 06:37 AM
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Slynky Slynky is offline
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Default The Grudge-Match of Doom - (trashtalk/game progress)

Well, Primitive made the suggestion and since my turns seem to be in a lull...I took the first step ( ).

It's an important matchup with high-rated players in the SE4 Ratings System: 1st place, 2nd place, 4th place, and a new member to the Ratings System(returning after a year's time).

Though you might not be a member of the Ratings System (or otherwise involved in the game), you might peek a bit to see the progress in a matchup of very good players in a 2 x 2 game.

To set the mood, my spies have managed to sneak some footage from a high-level meeting between Lord Primitive and Admiral Alneyan:

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Old May 30th, 2004, 10:08 AM

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Default Re: The Grudge-Match of Doom - (trashtalk/game progress)

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Old May 30th, 2004, 08:16 PM
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Default Re: The Grudge-Match of Doom - (trashtalk/game progress)

There is obviously two gross mistakes in this wicked work of the malicious Slynky:
- First of all, the said meeting involved the Pairs game, rather than the current "One player to rule them all" game.
- Besides, I am depicted like a somewhat strange being, looking like the cross-breeding of a Quasit and a goblin. We all know I do hide my actual appearance, lest I am too easily identified, thus compromising my mission. I also happen to have a somewhat fair complexion (I could teach alabaster a thing or three about pallor), which is obviously not the case in this picture.

These two elements show that it cannot be related to the truth in any way. It is our belief that Slynky is the mastermind behind this conspiracy, for words and mischief are his hallmarks. Indeed, we have had an interview with an expert in this field, a certain Nayelan, who holds a PhD diploma. (Doctor of Propaganda and Hypocrisy)

"Three questions to Doctor Nayelan:

- The Free Inquiry : Greetings, Doctor Nayelan. Would you be so kind as in telling us about your latest work, "A Primer to the understanding of the mind of Slynky", which has been regarded as the most comprehensive study on this subject?
- Doctor Nayelan : My thesis is the result of several years of research, where I have compiled all the reliable information I could find, notwithstanding the perils for my own life. Afterwards, I have compared all this data to make the most accurate and unbiased portrait of Slynky. The result of all these years of labour is the book you hold in your hands.

As it happens, Slynky has previously used such works of propaganda to further his own agenda. For instance... Well, let's skip the examples, as I don't quite recall the details well. Anyhow, suffice it to say he does not have any problem with using misinformation and blatant lies.


- FI: But does this picture have any connection with reality, or is it a sheer misconception, mean means to belittle his opponents?
- DN: In fact, it does connect to a previous game, but not in the way you would expect. It was a 2vs2 game where Slynky fought together with Alneyan (at least in theory, as I will highlight later on), against a certain Parabolize and his ally, Electrum. It was indeed the same Alneyan he is currently vilipending for no apparent reason.

The fact is, Slynky did not get involved in any major battle (not without losing it at any rate) in the aforementioned game, while Alneyan courageously glassed unprotected colonies in remote systems. You merely needed to put some of the Trithian ships in a battle to trigger a major defeat for the Alneyan/Slynky side, even when the odds of being defeated where about as high as being rescued by a ship in less than thirty seconds while being stranded in deep space. (And this number is as close to zero as it makes no matter) But I digress.

Therefore, Slynky hopes to put aside his own problems by displaying a craven Alneyan. I would have had a lot to say if he had not admitted his own victory was mostly due to Alneyan, but fortunately he made such an acknowledgment. The current picture we are shown only stresses what I have explained, if it was needed.


- FI: But what about this other... creature displayed in the right? Is there any similar connection with this game?
- DN: Indeed, and I was going to explain it, had you not interrupted me. In the said game, Alneyan gifted his ministers to Slynky, and put them in charge of all the military operations, without letting Slynky know about this small change obviously. These ministers were the ones in charge of the Arcadia League when she faced the Primitive Horde, and while they were the finest the League had to offer at the outbreak of the conflict, they were little more than children once they met Primitive.

So Primitive seems to have the ability to rape the minds of his foes, thanks to his unspoken powers, ac. This picture does reflect this fear, for Primitive appears as an omnipotent being, able to infuse fear and dread in the heart of his victims. History shall tell whether this concern was founded or not, which would mean that "the best the Arcadia League has to offer" was about as bright as two-day-old bugs. You can obviously see how punny Alneyan appears next to the almighty Primitive, while he is kept under the thumb of the Primitive One with hardly more than a few snapped injunctions. In the end, "gibberish" would be too kind a word to describe Alneyan's speech when faced with the wrath of Primitive.


- FI: A Last thought to end this "Three questions to..." article? (It would indeed by the fourth question, as we cannot abide by the laws of logic after all)
- NE: If you would be so kind as in letting me finish my sentences once in a while, I might had something else. Don't you notice that Mark has returned at a very convenient moment? As soon as the previous game came to an end, he made his proposal and Slynky gave his agreement as quickly as possible.

Besides, Mark defeated Primitive in the past, which is no mean feat in my book. Only Asmala would be able to perform it, and even he would fret when faced with the ire of the Primitive One. Therefore, I have strong suspicions about the actual identity of Mark, which I will unravel in my upcoming book "Of the benefits of deception and fraud", to come in all good bookshops next week and...


- FI: Erh, we are looking forward to it and... Thank you for your time, Doctor Nayelan.
- DN: I would gladly return the compliment, but hypocrisy isn't paramount to me. I was glad to be of any assistance to enlighten you though."


Your picture was very nice Slynky, but it shall be yet another grudge on our list. I guess we should also invest in a device enabling us to measure the number of lies/misinformation/deception going on in this thread as well, but what would you expect from a tile including the word "Trashtalk" in it? Alas, I do not know Mark at all, which will hinder my efforts in this field. (I couldn't think of something better than the cliché conspiracy theory about his identity. Hopefully, as the game goes on I will be able to make up for this lack. )

[ May 30, 2004, 19:26: Message edited by: Alneyan ]
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Old May 30th, 2004, 11:59 PM
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Default Re: The Grudge-Match of Doom - (trashtalk/game progress)

Nice picture Slynky but the Strategy meeting was more like this:



Good story Alneyan
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Old May 31st, 2004, 12:18 AM
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Default Re: The Grudge-Match of Doom - (trashtalk/game progress)

Ahhh, just as I thought, Lord P, our highly reliable X-10 cameras must have gone on the fritz and missed that footage you showed... .

And yes, it WAS a good story. But it's a bit unbelievable, on the verge of lies I must add. As you can see by more stolen footage:

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Old May 31st, 2004, 12:29 AM

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Default Re: The Grudge-Match of Doom - (trashtalk/game progress)

Quote:
- FI: A Last thought to end this "Three questions to..." article? (It would indeed by the fourth question, as we cannot abide by the laws of logic after all)
- NE: If you would be so kind as in letting me finish my sentences once in a while, I might had something else. Don't you notice that Mark has returned at a very convenient moment? As soon as the previous game came to an end, he made his proposal and Slynky gave his agreement as quickly as possible.
Damnit, I've been found out already!

You're right of course. "Mark the Merciful" was just a fake identity put together by Slynky in order to sleaze his way up the ladder in the KOTH tournament. But the Last laugh was on him, because even though he was playing against himself, he accidentally won with the wrong empire and had to quickly kill off that identity in order to save himself from future embarasment.

And now? Well who's writing this, if it's not Slynky, and why is it in the third person? The answer is of course that I am Slynky, it's just that I've forgotten to take my medication for the Last couple of days and I'm feeling a bit comfused. Nurse!
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Old May 31st, 2004, 11:46 AM
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Default Re: The Grudge-Match of Doom - (trashtalk/game progress)

No. I'm Slynky!
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Old May 31st, 2004, 11:52 AM
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Default Re: The Grudge-Match of Doom - (trashtalk/game progress)

Quote:
Originally posted by Slynky:
No. I'm Slynky!
No, he's Slynky (gesticulates wildly over there)
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Old May 31st, 2004, 12:43 PM
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Default Re: The Grudge-Match of Doom - (trashtalk/game progress)

Why, you have my word as a fiendish Dark Elf that I merely spoke the truth Slynky, and used the best unbiased information I could find. As if spies would actually tamper with deceit!

My browser still censures your pictures Slynky, so I will deny having seen it, which will spare me some embarrassment. Therefore, I shall make no formal comment on this perfidy, and will instead gently ask Slynky to put his head on a silver plater if he doesn't want to face the fate Primitive has depicted a few Posts ago. But why do I have the nagging feeling this meagre request will not exactly be enough, and will only succeed in provoking laughter?
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Old May 31st, 2004, 02:16 PM
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Default Re: The Grudge-Match of Doom - (trashtalk/game progress)

Tsk, tsk...

You guys should finish your discussions about the fastest way to get the Talisman and upload your empire files...
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