OT POLL: Do Nice Guys Finish Last??

[Renegade 13]

Originally posted by Slynky:
I'm with Gryphin on this one.

When I was growing up, I saw lots of girls I found attractive and interesting who seemed only to have eyes for guys that treated them like dirt (or substitute another 4-letter word). I never understood it especially when they could have been with ME

Exactly. This is why I'm so cynical about being the "nice guy". When it comes to love, it gets you nowhere. It seems we have plenty of nice guys here, but no women to tell us what they think!!

[Raging Deadstar]

Originally posted by Renegade 13:

quote:

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Originally posted by Gryphin:
I realize your post was partly tongue in cheek cynicism and we are talking “in general”.

Haha you got me Gryphin. Total cynicism. Being the nice guy really doesn't work for me at all. Then again, I'm only 17 years old . So my experience is kind of limited. But I can't help being the "nice guy". Its who I am, and I won't change who I am.

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Don't worry about it I'm 17 and i seem way too occupied with helping people out than i should be. In most peoples opinion I'd admit I probably full under "Doormat Nice" But as everyone's said eventually you get rewarded.

Of course if you don't you can start being rather evil and scheming in your spare time and No-one will suspect you

[Ragnarok]

I'm a nice guy and I have never had any problems succeeding in life, so far. Granted being 19 and young compared to alot of the members here does not say much for me but my boss knows he can trust me and rely on me to accomplish a task without taking a dirty route to get it done.

In SEIV I will play both nice and mean guy depending on the game, can never become too bland and predictable so you have to spice it up sometimes.

Women...ugh...they are so confusing sometimes...

[dmm]

[edit: not directed at anyone in particular!]
If you're a nice guy, why do you want to date a woman who is attracted to jerks? Maybe just because she's HOT? Maybe you're not so nice after all, huh? Just not successful at playing the jerk role, so you try playing the nice role?
My advice to you genuinely nice young guys is:
1) Don't bother dating in high school. It's a waste of your time and money. You're too immature for a relationship worth having (and even if you are not, the girls are).
2) Bide your time. Nice guys usually get even more than they deserve. Jerks eventually get their come-uppance (and we often get to watch).
3) The grass is NOT greener over the fence. Learn to be content. Unattached guys should take the opportunity to do stuff that attached guys can't do easily, like move around, work your head off, take risks, switch careers, etc.

[ July 12, 2004, 18:59: Message edited by: dmm ]

[Atrocities]

Women love to be treated like dirt by guys who have no value system. I see it every day and have seen my entire life.

In a recent poll women said that they are drawn to a man for his humor...... yaaa riiiiiiiighhht.

In every situation that I can even begin to point to, the women fell for the nut job they are with because he had a bad boy image.

I can sight example after example on this. Women love to be treated poorly by beef cake loosers.

If given a choice between one of us, and a beef cake looser, the beef cake will always win even though we all know how well we would treat her.

Women are drawn to brawn more than brain... They are animals after all, and can sense our kindness thus our weakness.

No kidding, I go video tape a wedding and now I am involved with a women that wants far more than I am able to give, given my present RL situation, and this scares me because this does not follow the norm. HOWEVER, now that I have gone to many parties and other with her, other women, the kind that would have nothing to do with me otherwise, are begining to show me a lot of interest. WTF is up with that?

I simply do not understand women. Or is it that I do understand women, I just don't comprehend there many facitted and unique ways of doing things?

Needless to say I am running scared at the moment not knowing what in the hell to do. On one hand I like having someone like her to talk to, on the other, I am alarmed at why she is so interested in me knowning my RL situation. *Perhaps she is over desprate and I am the first thing to enter her possible husband radar in years. That alone should be making me run and duck for cover yet I still call her....... I am so confused... Women have a tendacy to do that to us.

Long story short, I played a nice guy to get the job done, and she must have thought I was honestly a nice guy or something. Given her taste in men, I would chalk her up to the desprate, "must take any man I can get" kind. That means this whole thin will end poorly for me.

Nice guys do finish Last and so it has been written. The 11th command from God himself, you know the five laws on the third tablet that was accidently dropped. 11. Man shall know that nice guys shall always finish Last in everything. 12. What can go wrong, Shall go wrong. 13. Thow shall not trust no man or no women. 14. Thow shall always get promises and agreements in writting. 15. Thot shall always pack heat.

[Raging Deadstar]

Originally posted by dmm:
[edit: not directed at anyone in particular!]
If you're a nice guy, why do you want to date a woman who is attracted to jerks? Maybe just because she's HOT? Maybe you're not so nice after all, huh? Just not successful at playing the jerk role, so you try playing the nice role?
My advice to you genuinely nice young guys is:
1) Don't bother dating in high school. It's a waste of your time and money. You're too immature for a relationship worth having (and even if you are not, the girls are).
2) Bide your time. Nice guys usually get even more than they deserve. Jerks eventually get their come-uppance (and we often get to watch).
3) The grass is NOT greener over the fence. Learn to be content. Unattached guys should take the opportunity to do stuff that attached guys can't do easily, like move around, work your head off, take risks, switch careers, etc.

Hear Hear!!! Much Agreeing on my part!

[AMF]

Ok, guys, come on, all this talk about how "girls always like the bad guys" ...let's think about all this as an analogy...

How many times have you wanted to "go out" or "sleep with" a REALLY hot woman? All the time right? Well, given my "vast" years of experience, the REALLY hot ones are also usually the one's who are NOT GOOD for you. They've got some manner of wacko-ness that is likely derived from they're being REALLY hot. Our society does that to them.

That is the analog to the men's side of things. We, as men, generally want to go out with the HOT ones because we find them hot. But by the very virtue of they're being HOT they are also BAD for us.

So, for women, the situation is the same: they want to go out with the "HOT" ones - defined in this case as the James Dean/Marlon BRando/"Dangerous" ones (because that's what our society defines male "hotness" as) but they are also the exact same one's who are bad for them.

It also is related to the idea that if one is "hot" (of either gender) they feel that they can get away with a lot more in life - which is exactly the selfish sort of behaviour that makes them bad in relationships.

Eventually, one stops desiring the "hot" ones and goes for the "sane/better" ones.

(Frankly, I think I got very lucky with the best of both worlds: my wife never thought she was hot but she is - so, she doesn't act like she is although she is...did that make sense)

[Atrocities]

So what your saying is, go for the fat ones? Problem, the Fat women also just want really tall skiny, well packaged bad boys as well.

Well secretly they do..... But even as fat guys we all know that having a fat girl friend is ok, so long as she is not her own postal code. That being said, and as I am discovering for the first time, fat women are not all that attractive physically, but they do seem to be awful over needy.

God help me for I am just not up to climbing this moutain.

[ July 12, 2004, 19:53: Message edited by: Atrocities ]

[tesco samoa]

youth is wasted on the young...

Alarifk you get to an age when you realise that all women are nice looking to someone.

You just have to figure out what ones you are attracted to.

I have always been atracted to women who have the same love of music that I have. And not the same type of music. I like hearing new music.

Then I take it from there... It did not work out the first few times ( well quite a few ) and then it did

P.S. don't get too down on meeting people , being with a few , being rejected by a few, having ones heart broken by a few, breaking a few hearts.

Better to learn what you like and what people like in you as you grow up and learn from your mistakes , and accomplisments. You will find out along the way that you will have some good memories and some bad ones. But you will have gained experence. And lived and met a whole wack of people along the way. Which makes it worth it in my opinion.

So enjoy.

[Raging Deadstar]

Originally posted by tesco samoa:
But you will have gained experence. And lived and met a whole wack of people along the way. Which makes it worth it in my opinion.

So enjoy.

This reminds me. Good Judgement only comes from Expirience and Expirience only comes from Bad Judgement