Q: New to game, need advice - getting wrecked

[jutetrea]

Not a complete noob when it comes to strategy games, yet every time I play I'm going along doing fine - then BAM its all over.

Just have the demo for now, waiting for a bud to check it out and we'll grab 2 copies.

With normal AI, 1v1 was too easy, 1v2 was ok, decided to try more.

Just played as the apes, with the 4-armed skelly god. Large map, me + 4 AI, mid starting position on a narrow strip of land between 2 landmasses (took it because tried 3 games and had an enemy within 3 spaces).

Expanded, didn't use the pretender till she was kitted out with 1st stage magic EQ, had everything for at least 2 provinces around the capital. Had found 2 enemies so far, no incoming activity.

Went after the top one, abysmia? Doing fine, then stopped cold. I'd have 7 commanders, pretender and 200 troops and I'd lose to 50 troops with 5 commanders... no commander loss, but lose 40-50 troops and kill 5-6 of theirs. WTF?
I was using the biggest monkey, slingers, and the 2nd smallest archers with some cav support (like 12 or so), tried it a couple of times as i had handy reinforcements, no luck.

Suddenly 2 other enemies start pounding on my back door, 1 popping a fort down. So, I hit the fort with 6 more commanders + 200 troops, similar config and stall at the door, no problem - i'll just swing down with the experienced guys.

Put the top battle on hold, beef up a bottleneck and go south where 2 other pretenders appear, a drake, and a few trog lords. Proceed to get my butt handed to me, massive losses, few kills and then my pretender gets horror marked, hunted and insta'd as she tosses her second buff.

So, if you've survived that I have a few questions after playing about 4 1/2 times:

Do the enemies duke it out? Or is it all v. 1?

Is there any diplomacy? Will sending bribes actually do anything?

I'm assuming magic is the game breaker for me, I went to level two in all schools vs. specializing - and never jacked up my casters (empowerment?)

Should the pretender be used for combat? melee or magic?

What is up with their heavy cav whooping me and mine seeming to just stall and get cut down, even using it to flank and take out rearmost doesn't do much.

Where are they getting their big mobs? summoning? is summoning a ritual? do they last till they die or 1 combat?

I'd rather not look at "stategies"... but without a save its pretty painful to spend 2 hours and suddenly have it go poof. So at this point, any advice is welcome or even pointing out places to read till I get a manual.

love the game (although bunch of micro on the troop side, especially with getting defeated), feel i've just scratched the surface which is how it should be.

Help?