a piece of pizza in a box

[Gwaihir]

Gwaihir walk in, sees the box, smells the pizza, because a well known physical law states that pizza can be smelled from anywhere within a two room radius, no matter how large the room or how well contained the pizza. This fact still puzzles researchers, some of whom feel that this is the key to understanding the Big Bang.

Thinking of the Big Bang gives Gwaihir an idea. He pulls out his handy Tnuctipun gun, sets it to "total conVersion" (yes, this appeared in an animated star trek episode, but i am using the original Known Space info, not the slightly altered Version Niven used for Star Trek, which said the gun was slaver tech - - - y'all should read known space books, they = tres cool) Anyhow, he then steps back as far as he can, ie outside the building and several blocks away, uses a normal setting to bLast a hole in the inteceding parts of the building to give a line of sight to the box, and then gives as short a burst as he can, converting a tiny bit of the side of the box directly from matter to energy, resulting in an enormous explosion. He then returns to the box, and finds that he overjudged the thickness slightly - the explosion vented far too much inside, and the pizza is spread across the wreckaged of the box, mixed with white hot metal. It now has nice meaty toppings, though! if only they weren't quite so overcooked . . .

As he is about to grab some of the least cooked toppings, two eyes pop open in the blackened mess, and it groans, prompting several other pairs of eyes to open. Realizing that he forgot an important principle of cartoon physiobiology, Gwaihir glances around, finds the sprinkler system, and whips a large mallet out of the air over the characters, which is glistening with cartoon potential energy. He smashes the sprinkler, and the blackened, squashed characters sigh with relief as they sizzle back to their normal shapes. While they recover, Gwaihir leaves, trying to come up with a better way to break the security next time.

edit:
Gwaihir also runs into Fyron outside, also leaving, and realizes that he has just been a victim of post simultaneity, in which two wholly different events occurred in the same place at the same time, but the separate legs of the troUsers of time ended up going into the same sock. He runs away before any strange effects take hold.

[ May 14, 2003, 07:39: Message edited by: Gwaihir ]