The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Just as AZ starts on his Galactic Core, a couple of GT's maffioso goons enter the bar armed with - of all available weapons, Ground Cannons, small Torpedoes, small Incinerator beams, small Shield depleters - tommyguns.

The frontmost goon (apparently the leader, as he appears to have an IQ that is actually HIGHER than zero) opens his mouth to say something and is subsequently splattered all over the take-out hut, ruining the Praetorian nicely simmering on the BBQ.

The other goons open up with their trenchbrooms firing randomly into the street outside, ruining a perfectly good building in which someone was just opening a new restaurant. (Darnit! And that just after the last payment!) A screaming noise fills the air as a massive shape comes careening right at the bar from high up in the air. The immense fighter opens up with at least several dozen small Meson Blasters and splatters the rest of the goons all over the street. Then it disappears to a COMCA in orbit.

StrategiaInUltima enters the take-out. "Sorry 'bout the mess. Ordered the pilot to take 'em out any means necessary. One tEEE please, Phong blend."

[AgentZero]

Agent Zero plucks a bit of small intestine out of his Galactic Core and drops it on the bar.
"Of all the hairbrained, suicidal, pointless- GAHHH! I feel an Apocalypse coming on!!!"
Demonic shadow rear out of the floorboards and begin spreading on across the Hut. Still immaterial, they begin slowly to solidify pacing about the place as they eagerly wait to become coporeal so they may wreak bloody vengeance upon all they come across. One of the largest demons eyes Strategia hungrily.
Fortunately, the barkeep quickly plops a replacement Galactic Core, gratis, in front of Zero.
"Ooo! Freebie!"
The shadows slowly recede to whence they came.

[General Woundwort]

Weaving through the destruction outside, a courier bot hovers into the Take-out Hut and drops a package onto the counter.

It smells. Bad. Really bad.

The reason it smells bad is because it contains a rather large - and rather dead - fish. The fish is wrapped in a bulletproof vest, and (even more strange) has a rolled-up copy of the user's guide to MOO3 stuffed in its mouth (obviously, that is what killed it).

Tacked to the fish is a hand-scrawled note.

MR. HUXTABLE - TIME IS RUNNING OUT...

[Renegade 13]

Hey RudyHuxtable, can you complete this word?? Think of it as a puzzle to stimulate the mind.

M*shr**ms

[Jack Simth]

Glances around at the carnage.
"This simply won't do."
Spins a pocket universe with odd properties, and moves the wreckage of the take-out hut there. Moments later, one of the odd properties of the pocket universe become clear, as the wreckage repairs itself, quickly resulting in an undamaged hut. Every inanimate object is repaired - including the jukebox, which starts to blow up after every song, but re-assembles itself before the damage goes very far.

Then establishes a permanent gateway between the material plane and the pocket universe, setting up a permanent illusion of the original Hut, which serves merely to mark the gateway between universes.

As a test, Jack pulls out a sealed beer, opens it, and pours a glass. A moment later, the glass is still full, and the beer is re-sealed and full. Jack nods, then dumps the beer from the glass. Then frowns momentarily when he notices the glass fills itself back up as soon as it is set upright, as the beer stain fades. Then he shrugs.

"Ah well, it'll work."

"As for that drunken sop, I think he may enjoy how this new pocket universe singles out his hangovers for sheer, unimaginable duration. The effect only applies here, of course - it's tied to the location - but as long as he's here, his hangover won't fade a bit. Everyone else will be happy that all their hangover symptoms are transferred to the sot, when he's around. Sic an angle on me. Heh. Pointless. Let's see his reaction the next time he walks in the door...."

Proceeds to buy every patron in the room a drink of their choice, ensuring that there will be plenty of hangovers for transferrence.

"Oh, and it's not onions here, it's garlic."

Slaps his forehead as a few cratefulls of garlic cloves land on top of his head.

"Ah well, at least they're tasty."

Steps out of the pile, grabs one, and starts munching.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

The B-Destroyers begin transmitting frantic messaging back and forth as a massive shadow passes overhead. Tides begin shifting horribly into the direction of Intel Forum City. One of the B-Destroyers tries firing a heavy XII APB into the shadow... only to be blown up by what seems to be a DUC shell about the size of a largish Battlecruiser.

Strategia leaves in a Starfighter to bring RudyHuxtable to the Brown Tentacle Rectal Hospital for examination. When he returns, the B-Destroyers are just scurrying away from under the massive shape of the USS Strategia. (note: it had an Advanced Tachyonic Accelerator, which it used to escape the belly of the Dragon.)

Strategia: "Well, mr. Ashton, it seems as though your puny B-Destroyers have fled in terror for my far superior force. Your ships weren't even 1500kT... my COMCA far exceeds even that number.

Heck, a couple of Starfighters could easily take out all your B-Destroyers without suffering a single casualty.

You see, it's all a matter of size. The PDCL was, oh, under 6000kT in size. That's tiny. Really, really tiny. A Starfighter is 150kT in itself. The USS Strategia is a modified COMCA. The standard version is already 25MT. The USS Strategia is an actual captured Peacekeeper Command Carrier, weakened from a recent battle with a Scarran Dreadnought. Everyone knows that Peacekeeper COMCAs are over 250MT in size.

If AZ ever shows up again, he'll not even have the chance to notice that there is even something going on. He'll be a rapidly expanding cloud of monatomic dust (TM&C Strohl Munitions. Excerpt from the folder of the VVVBHC 9000-B heavy plasma lance.) immediately. One hit from the Strategia's Uber-Overkill-Mounted Anti-Capship Disruptor Cannon will annihilate him immediately.

One tEEE, please. Phong blend."

[AngeldelaMuerte]

With silly teleportation technology completely nullified, the Angel of Death sets about doing what she does best. Pointing a finger upwards she avenges the death of her pet dragon by draining the energy from all organic and inorganic matter in Douglas's fleet. The now suddenly inert chunks of material slam to the ground around the Hut (miracleously not crushing it in the process) and begin disolving into a fine powder as the energy bonding their atoms together fades away.
Petey, the not-quite-fast-enough-this-time AI finds itself ripped from it's comfortable home, and now hovering in front of a very pissed off Angel of Death.

"Kill my dragon will you? What do you have to say for yourself?"
"001100110110101001! 0011100! 0011100010101! 00111000110011!"
"Riiiiiight..."

Detatching a demon's arm, Angel uses it like a baseball bat and smacks the module containing Petey high into the air. Renegade, having gone outside for some fresh air, sees Petey rising from the area of the Hut, opens fire with his Red Hot Poker Cannon. Petey, now riddled with red hot pokers and little more than a semisolid blob splats onto the roof of the Forum Grill and solidifies into a completely inert coating for the roof.

"That's enough carnage for me for one day. I'll let someone else deal with those Dreadnoughts. I'm too full."

[General Woundwort]

The battle rages in orbit and around the Hut, as a fleet of World Destroyers drops out of hyperspace (hey, since the SW franchise hit rock bottom, I can get lots of stuff on the cheap!) and engages the Strategia in head-to-head combat.

Meanwhile, the chaos and carnage within the Hut itself has allowed Woundwort and a contingent of capos to force an entry.

"OK, boys, take this place apart!"

The capos proceed to blast away at every non-FCB&G customer and staff member in sight.

[AgentZero]

Agent Zero wanders about the battlefield, every once and a while poking at the raging inferno of energy around him that stops abruptly about a foot away from his person. He looks up at the source of the energy, Strategia's COMCA vainley venting it full armament at him from a range of mere kilometers. He look pitingly at Strategia.

"If you haven't realized it by now, I'm dating the Angel of Death. You can't touch me."

With that, he decided to try out some of the new skills The Angel has been teaching him (No, not THOSE skills!). He lifts a hand into the air, and suddenly the force that was stopping Strategia's COMCA's weapons fire from reaching him begins to repels it. As it's own firepower tears through it's shields and begins ripping apart it's armour, the COMCA attempts to utilize it's Advanced Tachyonic Accelerator to save itself from destruction and finds out what happens when you attempt to teleport from within a stasis-nullification field: The COMCA abruptly ceases to exist.

Only to return to existance a safe distance away, completely intact for 0.0000359 seconds before every atom in it's construction decides to attempt to exist simultaneously with it's neighbour, and the whole contraption blows apart in the most spectacular explosion since the Big Bang.

[douglas]

Petey notices the battlecruiser on a collision course with the Hut well before it impacts, and directs a dozen terapedoes to cooperatively teraport it to the sun before it reaches the boundary of the stasis field.